Individuals are more than there attachment wounding….

I know it can be comforting to have a theory that explains why a person is dumped or why an ex behaves in a certain baffling way….but attachment theory is really at the root, to better understand your own wounding and how you are attracted to individuals who are not a good fit.  There are generalizations thrown around all the time….avoidants do this…Anxious do that….but in the end….each relationship is a bit unique and generalizations, while they can explain some overarching behaviors, can become an excuse to blame and stay stuck rather than looking for a path forward that allows you to make better choices for yourself.  I say this out of my own story which started with a baffling breakup and then led me to finally address my own underlying wounding through therapy.  My relationship with friends and family has vastly improved and I am no longer seeking the validation I once sought from the guy I dated from anyone other than myself.  That being said, it is a journey and healing comes over time.