Support for a DA/FA

Hey Lola...this board was created specifically for DAs to have a safe spot for them to talk about their journey to becoming secure.  "For DAs working on themselves, and others who want to support them".  In order to support that effort....if you could move this question over to the other DA forum that would be appreciated.

Tn9r is right, move this to the other forum. This forum is strictly for DAs that are trying to understand themselves better. Not for APs to ask for advice. A lot of good DA members left this forum because they did not feel safe to post in their own forum.

Actually if you look at the other threads with this forum...you will find that the DAs wanted a specific forum so that they could talk with each other about strategies they were using towards becoming secure.  When others posted..even innocent questions, it was perceived as turning this forum into the other one that is for questions.  By "those that want to support them" Jeb was indicating that if anyone else in the community wanted to show support for the participating DAs that was welcome....but this was intended as a place for DAs to speak to their own growth.  Also...playing devil's advocate...you don't see any DAs posting questions in the "For APs working on themselves and those that want to support them" forum.  These forums were created to allow members of each attachment style a chance to interact with other members (with the same attachment style).

i can certainly mention that to Jeb....unfortunately...most of the DAs who requested this forum left because they (and I really don't fault them) kept finding that even this space wasn't truly "theirs".  

As as an AP, having a question brought up in the support AP forum would not cause me to feel disrespected...but I was never left feeling smothered by an overbearing parent.  Respecting boundaries is a very important aspect of any relationship....I think that for DAs, boundary violations, regardless of how innocent they are...triggers those feelings of not being respected/heard/validated.  It would be nice if they could speak to them in a way that others could understand...but just like as an AP, my translation of the world is through my AP lens...so is theirs based on their DA lens.  It is truly a shame most of them left...it was really nice to finally understand from their perspective, what they need, how they were planning to grow etc.  I wish all of them well because they simply wanted a chance to address their issues without feeling like (as Mary put it) lab rats.