Post by simplymiatx on Oct 14, 2015 20:44:38 GMT
I can now talk about my marriage without breaking down and crying. My wife and I had been together for almost nine years before we married three months ago. At the time we married, she said charming things about starting over, making a fresh start, doing it the way we wanted to this time. We had just moved into a home we purchased.
Prior to getting married, we suffered several break-ups regarding past relationships. She had begun to talk to another woman about 300 miles away and became well acquainted with her over the phone and social media. She continued to speak with the other woman often, assuring me that they were just friends. This friendship carried over into our fresh start.
I often relayed to my wife that her friendship with this other woman made me feel threatened and she would get frustrated initially and then soothe me enough to calm my fears temporarily. All came to a head several weeks ago when she said she was not sure she wanted to fix our marriage. I kicked her out of our home. She came back the same day begging for me to take her back after the other woman found out some of her indiscretions. Five days later, I kicked her out permanently when she began talking to the other woman again and lying about it.
At first I felt like I was the problem all along. She would get upset the more I wanted to talk about the other woman and what happened in our marriage that would lead her to be emotionally unavailable to me. She blew up at me a couple of times, saying we were beating the subject to death. Since our separation, she has been completely void. Every time I look into her eyes, it's like she isn't even there. She laughs when I tell her how she's hurt me. She finds a way to turn it around on me. She refuses to take any responsibility for the demise of our marriage, won't say she's sorry and literally displays her affection for the other woman on social media for my family, friends and children to see. It's like she has no regard for anyone's feelings except her own and her new girlfriend.
I mistakenly thought I could get through to her, but I have made no progress in getting her to recognize that she needs help. I have resorted to blocking her number so she cannot call or text me. I go out of my way to ensure I don't meet up with her in the town we live in (it's a small town). As for me, I have a strong support system that is helping me cope and walk through her behavior. When does the cycle end?
Right now, she believes she has found the love of her life, the woman who she feels like she has known for all of her life. The woman who doesn't make her jump through hoops or bend over backwards to make happy. The one who loves her for just who she is. How can I compete? I used to want to but it is more of trying to understand how the person I loved so much became this monster she is today, who is void of emotion, has no respect or consideration for anyone she called friend, wife, or child?
