Post by tnr9 on Jan 17, 2018 11:31:40 GMT
Hey Cardinal...I am going to jump to the meat of your post. No, you are not to blame for what happened. This man has told you in his own words that he is troubled...regardless of what you did...he isn't in a good space and you are not "responsible" for getting him there. He knows he is making choices that do not align with his end goal, but he is choosing to continue after them anyways. It is, as he put it, his life...so you can let go of any feelings of responsibility to help him (harder to actually do given as APs, relationships are very important to us). He is also giving you push/pull signals ( push " go away" "I don't want anyone" "I just want to be left alone" behaviors and the pull "you are one of my closest friends" "I really care about you" behaviors). What he is saying in a nutshell is that he wants you in his life because he knows you care about him, but on his terms. The thing is...what you desire to give him the most (care, vulnerability, accountability, intimacy) scares him. He is telling you in his own way that his anxiety rises with you....but that is because of his inability to speak to where his boundaries actually are...not because you have crossed them. I welcome you to the forums. 
