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Post by fatalcharm on Jan 29, 2018 4:19:44 GMT
If you have, what was their reaction?
I shared what I learned about this subject with my ex and she seemed to be interested, but after a while told me she "doesn't believe in this attachment B.S.".
I gave her the book "Attached" to read, and it also has a self-screeining test in it, but she never cracked it open.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2018 6:25:50 GMT
I told my DA he’s a DA. His response was - I thought I was secure. Avoidant is a good word.
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Post by madamebovary on Jan 29, 2018 6:36:39 GMT
I told my DA he’s a DA. His response was - I thought I was secure. Dismissive is a good word. My DA has admitted to me that he’s avoidant, but I’m not sure he’s means in a wholly attachment theory way. He has admitted that “when things get complicated, he hides” and I guess I’m complicating things because he’s been NC with me for like ten days now. The last thing he said was “I miss you too” but then my last two small messages have gone unanswered so who tf knows. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2018 8:17:30 GMT
I told my DA he’s a DA. His response was - I thought I was secure. Dismissive is a good word. My DA has admitted to me that he’s avoidant, but I’m not sure he’s means in a wholly attachment theory way. He has admitted that “when things get complicated, he hides” and I guess I’m complicating things because he’s been NC with me for like ten days now. The last thing he said was “I miss you too” but then my last two small messages have gone unanswered so who tf knows. Yea who tf knows indeed. In any case, If he misses you more than he needs to hide, he’s free to show up. I hope you breathe through this difficult time! This just came to mind. One friend did tell me this that stuck with me: “you have to trust your own pull”. He meant that I should have faith in myself and that I am attractive and that my DA wouldn’t be with me and making effort if I wasn’t attractive to him. I didn’t need to look for and chase after affirmation. I simply have to believe that him being here is proof enough of my pull. In fact, I have agency to leave this rship as well, and decide for myself if this is really what I want for myself. I found this very useful in holding my AP tendencies back and centering on myself. |
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Post by yasmin on Jan 29, 2018 10:49:01 GMT
I told him yes, he said "some of that seems true". He's pretty aware he's got intimacy problems, although he's not one for psycho babble he calls it "sometimes I worry I am really f**ed up in relationships". The thing about FAs is that I don't think they're completely oblivious to the fact that they have intimacy and commitment issues. I am FA also and I have always been aware I had some underlying concerns with letting people close to me and fear of abandonment, although I never had a label for it.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2018 15:08:33 GMT
I told my good friend about it, because we talk about our relationships a lot. She trusts me and is very open with me and I with her. She did her own research on it and thanked me. She admits she's FA, but it hasn't impacted the way she looks at her behavior. She's FA in romantic relationships only.
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