I'm finding that the way to being, acting and feeling more secure is to be less responsive to the person who made me be, act and feel insecure. It is easier on the way out of a relationship, I know it only too well, but I wonder if it can be done whilst still in it, as I suspect this is partly what people might like to read. I've read about going 'grey rock' with someone (I believe it's about being as responsive and reactionary as a grey rock). Now that I have gone full circle, I think that it is easier to see it in retrospect.
Post by AnxiousAttached&Nothappy on Jul 26, 2016 3:51:12 GMT
Please do tell. My bf of 2 years and I just recently learned that hes avoidant and I'm anxious. It explains why the marriage talk shuts him down (we are in our 30s) and why after 2 years of dating and now living together that no romantic dates or plans for the future have ever been made. He has stated that he did not feel butterflies with me and that he felt stronger about his ex. I could go on but im sure what Ive already written is fcked up enough. I no longer desire to date him as it is exhausting to chase someone that should be running towards you. I would however like to make the transition out of the relationship as smoothly and peaceful as possible, perhaps take some time to better nurture and explore my needs before even thinking about dating again. Its unfortunate that I have continued up until now to date avoidant and narcissistic guys but I know that my inability to judge appropriately has contributed to this. How do you stop responding to an avoidant? As in the "grey rock" theory? Any secure advice is much appreciated. Thanks!