We're going to talk.. scared of what is to come

Hey! So my boyfriend threatened to leave me because I was activated (because of dumb shit he perpetually kept doing lol). I was and still am going through a shit storm in other realms of my life and he did that knowingly of the situation. He didn't even thank me for that expensive Christmas gift I got, of course, didn't get me anything, he was just super rude about it. He also ignored me up to my birthday. These two events hold a lot of value to me, so I was surprised by that. I actually believed him when he said he will do anything to make me happy. Clearly, that was a lie. He's emotionally immature. BUT NOW wants to talk or it seems so. Our "conversation" is not going so well. We are trying to arrange to talk, yet he plays hard to get as if I'd invite him. Anyway, that's fine for now, because after that emotional abuse (there are many things I left out) I'm afraid to talk so the hard to get treatment is not as bad as usual. He's either going to dump me or treat me like shit or treat me even more like shit if I'm the one who 'breaks' and invites to talk. It's really middle school   

Unsure how to respond. I think that if I've been treated so shit and every time I am the one to come forward I will lose even more ground. It's weird because I don't want to be with someone who does this to me, yet I find it hard to break free.

So sad. I have really high standards for what kind of guy is ok for me. To this day there have been only 2 or maybe even just him alone to amount to them. So that's holding me back, although I know myself that I can pretty much any guy, the problem is filtering them out.