Is it me or is there really something wrong?

Hey everyone, been a while since I last posted here. In October I've met a girl in a seminar and we started seeing each other. From the early beginning I thought something was off and now that we went on a vacation together, my gut is telling me to flee. We aren't a couple since my feelings are on/off cause of her reactions and words.

To cut it short, I'm an earned secure for a few years now, but bonding with DA or FA still gives me anxious periods which are held under control without any problem now. I just wanted to present my case and see if I see correctly or am just stupid. I'll be as objective as possible.

This is my observation:
- constantly talking about exes. Told me twice how her and her ex-ex did lots of stuff in bed and in many places and told me to shave in a way her recent ex from 8 months back shaved. Always talks where they went and what they were like. Even compared me to them a few times. Doesn't see anything wrong with any of this.
-  said that her last breakup was traumatic when he broke up with her after sex and left her devastated. Even cried in front of me cause of him (5 months after the breakup when she was emotional).
- I have a feeling she wants to control the relationship.
- makes unnecessary drama and does things that just push me away (like doing things she knows I can't stand, like cursing, and saying down right stupid stuff).
- complains constantly about everything.
- said people are all bad.
- never talks about her emotions or her needs, but loves touching and sex.
- I don't see her showing me respect, which is why I don't want to commit.
- has high standards about her future husband and how he'll do everything (which I fully support, but don't see why since she doesn't offer that much in return).
- even said she doesn't ever look forward to seeing me, but has a great time every time we meet. Doesn't plan a date, this is up to me but she says we plan it up front when we meet. Which is true, but it just leaves me calling the day prior our meet-up when she is available and if she wants to meet with me.
- needs alone time and loves her time at home. During that alone time she just disappears for a day. I get that, alone time is fine and I don't cling, but just say something about it. Is generally quite occupied during the week.
- stresses her need for being in a non-controlling relationship.
- she is often trying to provoke a reaction like "how she will dance close with someone in her dance practice" or "going on a vacation with her male friend", but I don't budge. This may just be a girl thing, but I am confused by the number of times she does this.
- again, constantly talking about exes. We normally see each other once a week for few hours and the most times she mentioned them was 7. Yes, 7, without me even asking. Think about what that was like during our 7 day vacation. And yes, we had a talk and she didn't realize that and how it could bother me.
- she is very unaware of her words and actions, but is learning the art of self-growth.
- I think she has low self-esteem and confidence but presents a strong character on the outside. If I look at my own natural confidence, we differ so much. I don't try to control, I don't gossip and I respect people until they prove me wrong. And by no means would I talk so much about my ex who hurt me badly. Why mentioning someone's name who did you so much harm? Oh, and she posts alot on her social media. Like alot. Seeking attention and approval?
- when I tried to talk to her about respect and me opening up first, giving her a bit of psychological background along the way for help, her response was "This is stupid. If it was meant to be, it will be. Just flow with it.". I even told her what to try to correct and focus on so we would have a better bond, but no. Even told her about it yesterday when I reached my limits, but what I got in return was that everything bothers me. Which is far from the truth. I only need respect and right amount of attention. I replied in my normal manners, not acusing anyone, but she just went completely silent. Not even log in to Fb.
- gets hurt when I don't read minds on what SHE wants. When I should have hugged her, when I should have grabbed her hand, kissed her. And she doesn't understand that I want less of those things cause of her actions towards me. And now I'm the bad guy who is weak in person. It is never about what I want, even when I specifically tell her what it is that's bothering me.
- can get angry over little things.
- is able to praise me sometimes, but there are more passive-agressive "insults".
- forgets every important detail of my life which we talk about.

To be fair this relationship is hanging by a thread and am just hoping to have one last chat, since I have to return her books. Am I being delusional or is she a classic case of a DA? I am a bit confused cause everything seems like being my fault, but I wouldn't do any harm to another human being. I just don't let people boss me around and I don't like those who don't treat me with respect.

The thing I like about her is that she is generally very emotional and I like femininity, but that can turn to hell during her period. She is also open for growing as a person, which is another highly positive trait. When we are together, we work well, which is something to look for in a partner. But there are many things that turn me off and erase all those positive ones mentioned above.

Yeah, this is long. If someone reads it, I'd appreciate any outside observation.