Lola
Junior Member
Posts: 71 
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Post by Lola on Feb 13, 2018 9:26:47 GMT
I think that many APs are APs because in their formidable years they did not receive the attention and love they needed. How do you manage this- stop attention seeking?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2018 16:35:37 GMT
Find ways to lower the anxiety? If you look at the graph, the difference between secure and AP is the anxiety level.
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Post by alpenglow on Feb 13, 2018 20:52:29 GMT
It's a long and difficult journey, at least this is the reality for me.
It's about trying to find ways to pull your own resources, which are there somewhere within you, even though it doesn't seem like it.
Think about how you can fill the hole inside you, by nourishing yourself with self-compassion, self-care, self-love, instead of trying to finding it among others, especially romantic partners.
I don't have very good specific techniques to suggest, because I obviously struggle with the same issue. It all still feels quite vague.
I get triggered everytime I am interested in someone, even though the cognitive understanding is in place. I know that love and attention cannot be asked of others, but my body still yearns it.
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Post by leavethelighton on Feb 20, 2018 0:19:06 GMT
Self love and its various manifestations (self care, spirituality, etc.) I am also experimenting with creative visualization (ex: spend time imagining yourself as a baby or child or really any age, getting whatever sort of love you wish you had but that was lacking-- either getting it from yourself or from completely unconditionally loving benevolent being).
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