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Post by devastated on Mar 15, 2018 9:40:21 GMT
He’s definitely a FA, I was totally unaware of attachment styles until he disappeared. I started to look into things. Classic FA. That’s why I left him alone. I really hoped he would come back. And I could lightly explain he is FA. But he’s definitely not coming back. He’s a lovely person. Just doesn’t believe he’s worth anything. I tried when we were together to let him know how amazing he was.
It’s sad. Such a shame.
I know it’s not my fault. But you can’t help feel a strange. And wonder why someone would just cut you out of their life so quickly.
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Post by tnr9 on Mar 15, 2018 10:02:28 GMT
He’s definitely a FA, I was totally unaware of attachment styles until he disappeared. I started to look into things. Classic FA. That’s why I left him alone. I really hoped he would come back. And I could lightly explain he is FA. But he’s definitely not coming back. He’s a lovely person. Just doesn’t believe he’s worth anything. I tried when we were together to let him know how amazing he was. It’s sad. Such a shame. I know it’s not my fault. But you can’t help feel a strange. And wonder why someone would just cut you out of their life so quickly. So....not speaking on his behalf, but only mine...I could see 2 reasons....again....this is my attachment. On the AP side (where I typically reside and tested)....if someone means too much to me, but I don't see it as ever working out and I need to try to move on from that person...I could see myself "blocking" that person. On the more dismissive side (which is how my mom is), I could see blocking someone because I want a clean break and I don't want the other person thinking there is a chance. I want to give them a chance to get over me. Again, I am not DA...but I can be in some cases because I think my mom's approach rubbed off on me a little. It was my way of trying to understand her. |
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Post by devastated on Mar 15, 2018 10:38:17 GMT
I definitely think it’s the later unfortunately.
He had told me in the past how he’s just completely blanked people for some reason or other. So I’m guessing he’s doing this to me.
It’s actually very painful.
It’s definitely turning me anxious that’s for sure!
I’ve never been in a situation where someone disappeared in an instant!!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2018 15:27:15 GMT
I am DA and I never block people. Why? Because I have no problem ignoring someone I don't want to talk to if they reach out. It sounds bad, but it's true. Blocking someone sounds more of an anxious side behavior, because they need the physical block to keep them out of their mind. I can just block that person in my mind and it's done.
I am sorry this has happened to you. I am sure it's very unsettling to be blocked like that.
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Post by cricket on Mar 15, 2018 17:18:28 GMT
I am DA and I never block people. Why? Because I have no problem ignoring someone I don't want to talk to if they reach out. It sounds bad, but it's true. Blocking someone sounds more of an anxious side behavior, because they need the physical block to keep them out of their mind. I can just block that person in my mind and it's done. I am sorry this has happened to you. I am sure it's very unsettling to be blocked like that. Lol love your truthful explanation. |
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Post by tnr9 on Mar 15, 2018 17:29:50 GMT
I am DA and I never block people. Why? Because I have no problem ignoring someone I don't want to talk to if they reach out. It sounds bad, but it's true. Blocking someone sounds more of an anxious side behavior, because they need the physical block to keep them out of their mind. I can just block that person in my mind and it's done. I am sorry this has happened to you. I am sure it's very unsettling to be blocked like that. Interesting Mary.....my Mom must not be DA then....and here I thought she was all this time. I learn something new every single day. |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2018 18:34:48 GMT
I am DA and I never block people. Why? Because I have no problem ignoring someone I don't want to talk to if they reach out. It sounds bad, but it's true. Blocking someone sounds more of an anxious side behavior, because they need the physical block to keep them out of their mind. I can just block that person in my mind and it's done. I am sorry this has happened to you. I am sure it's very unsettling to be blocked like that. Interesting Mary.....my Mom must not be DA then....and here I thought she was all this time. I learn something new every single day. Oh she may be, I don't know. This is just my opinion/experience. People can be DA in certain relationships and not others as well. It's complicated. |
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Post by devastated on Mar 15, 2018 21:25:10 GMT
I feel he swings between anxious and Fa. Depending on the situation. More FA . In the beginning maybe anxious. He may have swung back to anxious I haven’t seen or heard from him since he disappeared.
I believe the text I sent him 3 weeks ago must of triggered something. As I laid it all out for him.
Maybe he didn’t want to receive another one of its type.
Which I wouldn’t of sent . One was plenty.
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Post by devastated on Mar 15, 2018 21:27:19 GMT
I am DA and I never block people. Why? Because I have no problem ignoring someone I don't want to talk to if they reach out. It sounds bad, but it's true. Blocking someone sounds more of an anxious side behavior, because they need the physical block to keep them out of their mind. I can just block that person in my mind and it's done. I am sorry this has happened to you. I am sure it's very unsettling to be blocked like that. Lol love your truthful explanation. Cricket how are you? How is your situation going? You were quiet down last we spoke. I think I’m in that place now. Reality may have kicked in. |
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Post by cricket on Mar 16, 2018 1:00:34 GMT
Lol love your truthful explanation. Cricket how are you? How is your situation going? You were quiet down last we spoke. I think I’m in that place now. Reality may have kicked in. HI devastated, thanks for asking. I was doing a lot better after that hard weekend. I really got into my own th8ng and i was feeling good. Then the missing him.creeped back and I texted him to help me w something at my house. He came over we talked a lot about his avoidance. So anyways I'm just back to being confused about how to proceed. Are you feeling down now? You said it's been 3 weeks since u last texted him? |
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Post by devastated on Mar 16, 2018 1:19:48 GMT
Yes it’s hitting home how messed up it all is. The no contact and disappearing thing has hit me with a bang. I think realising I’d been blocked on everything has made me feel strange.
It’s good you have had contact with him. Puts your mind at ease. Are you in contact much or just the one time?
Why do we get so connected to people that are so distant is my question.
I thought I was handling thing well.
Maybe in the back of my mind I had the fantasy he would come back.
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