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Post by kristyrose on Mar 9, 2018 20:29:42 GMT
Hey everyone,
Took a break from the boards to focus on my healing and moving forward. I decided to be more open to dating and went out with someone last night. It wasn't a love connection, but it was a lot of fun and a great experience because the person is very secure and very open to talking about, well everything!
It gave me a glimpse into what my life could look like and how nice it could feel, and it gave me some hope and I actually feel like I could be happy with someone, someday.
It also made me realize how my ex husband was also avoidant and I didn't realize it until more recently, that I have been almost back to back with avoidant men and have kinda lost my way in terms of remembering how open men can actually be.
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Post by cricket on Mar 9, 2018 21:14:27 GMT
That's awesome . I'm glad you had a fun time.
You said he seemed an insecure type- so did that turn u off at all?
Dipping your toes back in the dating pool is nice.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2018 22:30:22 GMT
kristyrose, I am so happy that you are doing well, healing and dating. I hope you meet a guy that gives you a lot of love, because you so deserve it!
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Post by kristyrose on Mar 10, 2018 0:18:19 GMT
That's awesome . I'm glad you had a fun time. You said he seemed an insecure type- so did that turn u off at all? Dipping your toes back in the dating pool is nice. Oh he is very secure, was married for 16 years, even sees a therapist regularly! I just wish there were more chemistry. To be honest, his pics were about 10 yrs old, so when i saw him, he looked nothing like what i thought! I decided that was fine, he was such a great guy, he told me he didnt have a lot of pics of himself and went with what he had. But total gentleman, and we had just so much in common. It's ok though, it is good to get out, and thankfully i did NOT think of my ex. Which honestly, I usually do think of him when out on a date since we broke up. |
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Post by kristyrose on Mar 10, 2018 19:28:08 GMT
kristyrose , I am so happy that you are doing well, healing and dating. I hope you meet a guy that gives you a lot of love, because you so deserve it! thank you Mary! I am now talking to another guy, gave him my number. haha! I have never really dated around so much before, usually I just go from one relationship to another, so this is kind of nice, a new experience for me! |
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Post by kristyrose on Mar 14, 2018 17:33:50 GMT
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to give an update on things.
I decided to go on another date with the same guy I initially posted about. He is really kind and a lot of fun! we have seen each other 3 times now, however last night he told me he has never felt this way about someone before and even told his therapist about me. Says he feels very close to me, feels like we have an amazing rare connection.
I really do not feel the same as I barely know him, so I feel like I need to stop seeing him. I really just want to take it all slow and date others. This same thing happened to me last summer when I dated a person who eventually told me he loved me, but I didn't feel the same. Luckily we are friends to this day, but I am careful not to lead him on.
My ex FA is still reaching out, I am still seeing him on occasion as well, but he is acting even more strange than before. He holds me so tight when he sees me, wants to spend a whole weekend with me, but employs new distancing strategies like he will sit very close to me, but won't put his arm around me, won't even make eye contact at times, but will want to cuddle at night and be together a lot. He seems so confused. I have been distancing myself slowly as I try to date others and as I do this, he will text me or email me asking for my opinions on random things to keep me connected to him.
I guess I'm just putting this out here to keep myself focused on the work I continue to do as I try to break away from him all together. Thanks for listening, friends.
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Post by tnr9 on Mar 14, 2018 17:55:07 GMT
Hey everyone, Just wanted to give an update on things. I decided to go on another date with the same guy I initially posted about. He is really kind and a lot of fun! we have seen each other 3 times now, however last night he told me he has never felt this way about someone before and even told his therapist about me. Says he feels very close to me, feels like we have an amazing rare connection. I really do not feel the same as I barely know him, so I feel like I need to stop seeing him. I really just want to take it all slow and date others. This same thing happened to me last summer when I dated a person who eventually told me he loved me, but I didn't feel the same. Luckily we are friends to this day, but I am careful not to lead him on. My ex FA is still reaching out, I am still seeing him on occasion as well, but he is acting even more strange than before. He holds me so tight when he sees me, wants to spend a whole weekend with me, but employs new distancing strategies like he will sit very close to me, but won't put his arm around me, won't even make eye contact at times, but will want to cuddle at night and be together a lot. He seems so confused. I have been distancing myself slowly as I try to date others and as I do this, he will text me or email me asking for my opinions on random things to keep me connected to him. I guess I'm just putting this out here to keep myself focused on the work I continue to do as I try to break away from him all together. Thanks for listening, friends. Hey Kristyrose...good of you to recognize that this guy is way into you and you don't have the same feelings and are choosing to make him aware. At the same time...ouch...because I did that with "B"...,told him the first night we moved from friendship to dating that I loved him. Thankfully he was honest and told me that he loved me as a friend. I think when we connect so quickly, there is obviously some level of fantasy involved....that was the case for me. Glad to read you are making motions towards seeing others. I am not there yet but my friends are hopeful that I will get there soon. Good luck. |
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