Post by tnr9 on Mar 10, 2018 20:05:47 GMT
After a month and a couple of weeks break...I decided to come back. I was having a hard time with reading how others were hearing from their ex while mine is pretty much radio silent. Thank you Tgat and Krisyrose for following up with me.
"B"still attends the singles group and I still swirl after each time i see him there. All my prior breakups have been clean cut with no contact at all....this feels like pulling back a band aid on a wound that hasn't had any time to scab over. A few weeks ago he came over to my table to make small talk, which was kind, but my "hopeful" side got all, well....hopeful again. The following week, he simply waved and I felt my heart sink at the casualness of it all. Last week I went on a cruise with friends and it was a nice distraction and a couple of them spent some time trying to help me see that the breakup was not all my fault...that "B" also could have brought more to the table. I so appreciated that they were there for me. But I noticed that I did not really want to change my view because if it is all my fault, then i can change whatever I did wrong and then there is a chance. Saying it is a shared thing means there are parts I have no control over and it means that there is nothing that I can do to fix it. But if it is all my fault, then I am still hyper focused on "B"...and you can see where that leads....misinterpretation of friendly gestures, jealousy at other girls, putting "B" on a pedastal....it is emotionally draining. So I am still working through all that...one day, one step at a time.
"B"still attends the singles group and I still swirl after each time i see him there. All my prior breakups have been clean cut with no contact at all....this feels like pulling back a band aid on a wound that hasn't had any time to scab over. A few weeks ago he came over to my table to make small talk, which was kind, but my "hopeful" side got all, well....hopeful again. The following week, he simply waved and I felt my heart sink at the casualness of it all. Last week I went on a cruise with friends and it was a nice distraction and a couple of them spent some time trying to help me see that the breakup was not all my fault...that "B" also could have brought more to the table. I so appreciated that they were there for me. But I noticed that I did not really want to change my view because if it is all my fault, then i can change whatever I did wrong and then there is a chance. Saying it is a shared thing means there are parts I have no control over and it means that there is nothing that I can do to fix it. But if it is all my fault, then I am still hyper focused on "B"...and you can see where that leads....misinterpretation of friendly gestures, jealousy at other girls, putting "B" on a pedastal....it is emotionally draining. So I am still working through all that...one day, one step at a time.
