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Post by tnr9 on Mar 15, 2018 1:10:18 GMT
I feel like I am finding out so many things about myself that I am struggling to prioritize them...in fact....because it seems so overwhelming at times...it almost feels better to focus on others, even though I have no influence on them like I do with myself.
Specifically...I have been focused on "B" again.....he mentioned on Sunday about a condition (out of respect for his privacy I am not going to list it) that he has that he had brought to my attention early in our friendship. I really had not given it much thought, but since he mentioned it, I decided to look it up and now I feel like I missed an opportunity to better understand him because I was so busy trying to understand him through other avenues (such as attachment theory). I realize this doesn't help me to move forward, but I find myself still so very focused on him. Just owning it.
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Post by cricket on Mar 15, 2018 18:43:52 GMT
I feel like I am finding out so many things about myself that I am struggling to prioritize them...in fact....because it seems so overwhelming at times...it almost feels better to focus on others, even though I have no influence on them like I do with myself. Specifically...I have been focused on "B" again.....he mentioned on Sunday about a condition (out of respect for his privacy I am not going to list it) that he has that he had brought to my attention early in our friendship. I really had not given it much thought, but since he mentioned it, I decided to look it up and now I feel like I missed an opportunity to better understand him because I was so busy trying to understand him through other avenues (such as attachment theory). I realize this doesn't help me to move forward, but I find myself still so very focused on him. Just owning it. I can totally relate. It's very hard but we have to take control of our own minds and keep telling ourselves it's our old patterns that cause us to fixate on them. When I was NC for 3 weeks I really started to focus on just my interests and developing a deeper relationship w myself and I liked it a lot. Then I start talking to him and see him again and I am majorly struggling w thinking about him 24/7 and thinking about his issues and what I can say to let him know I am here for him. I don't want all my self development to go out the window just because I saw him.
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Post by leavethelighton on Mar 17, 2018 23:38:39 GMT
I felt that way a year or two ago when I was first reading all about attachment styles. So much of my life suddenly made more sense. I wanted to analyze every familial, friendship or romantic relationship I ever had through the lens. And what to do first to grow and change as a result of what I had learned??
It's an exciting way to feel I think, but also a little overwhelming.
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