Moving away from ex FA - he remains in the background though
Mar 15, 2018 19:32:28 GMT
Jaeger and guest like this
Post by kristyrose on Mar 15, 2018 19:32:28 GMT
Hey everyone,
I am still working hard on myself and feeling stronger each week by adopting the mindset that my ex and I are done. Of course dating others and getting out and staying present in my own life are all really helping me move forward.
Yet, I do still see my ex. I saw him all of last weekend, he actually proposed us going away, but we ended up staying local and doing activities. Oddly, he would employ new distancing strategies I've never seen before, like avoid eye contact at times, not being affectionate, then turn around and cuddle me for a long time. Keeping me close to him in proximity, but turning away on and off. Instead of it triggering me, I was instead more curious and also more understanding of what he was doing and why. So I was able to part ways with him on sunday without feeling panic and all week long have been able to stay with my own therapy and personal work.
He emailed and texted and asked me to a movie tonight. He also told me he is going away again to the snow by himself for the weekend, normally this too triggers me, but it's not and I'm glad.
I am aware though, that my anxiety is calmed by the fact that he is still in the background of my life, still reaching out... when he stops, my anxiety spikes. So I'm trying to move away from him slowly and hoping this could work, as NC never works for us and one of us always breaks it.
I guess just continuing to post here helps remind me of the work i'm doing and keeps me connected.
thanks friends.
I am still working hard on myself and feeling stronger each week by adopting the mindset that my ex and I are done. Of course dating others and getting out and staying present in my own life are all really helping me move forward.
Yet, I do still see my ex. I saw him all of last weekend, he actually proposed us going away, but we ended up staying local and doing activities. Oddly, he would employ new distancing strategies I've never seen before, like avoid eye contact at times, not being affectionate, then turn around and cuddle me for a long time. Keeping me close to him in proximity, but turning away on and off. Instead of it triggering me, I was instead more curious and also more understanding of what he was doing and why. So I was able to part ways with him on sunday without feeling panic and all week long have been able to stay with my own therapy and personal work.
He emailed and texted and asked me to a movie tonight. He also told me he is going away again to the snow by himself for the weekend, normally this too triggers me, but it's not and I'm glad.
I am aware though, that my anxiety is calmed by the fact that he is still in the background of my life, still reaching out... when he stops, my anxiety spikes. So I'm trying to move away from him slowly and hoping this could work, as NC never works for us and one of us always breaks it.
I guess just continuing to post here helps remind me of the work i'm doing and keeps me connected.
thanks friends.
