jmb17
New Member
Posts: 7 
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Post by jmb17 on Mar 19, 2018 22:25:05 GMT
Just wondering and off topic from my previous lost but to FAs ever have moments where they can actually be what you wanted, even if for a second and do something nice and romantic for their partner before pulling away again?
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Post by mrob on Mar 20, 2018 6:56:01 GMT
Yep. Sometimes we can. For me it has depended on what part of the circle Iām in. I have real trouble getting past both parts of the woeful FA puzzle.
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Post by tnr9 on Mar 20, 2018 13:44:32 GMT
Just wondering and off topic from my previous lost but to FAs ever have moments where they can actually be what you wanted, even if for a second and do something nice and romantic for their partner before pulling away again? Sooooo...not sure what attachment style B is....so I am putting that out there first...but he did take the day off work and made me a really nice meal for Valentine's Day. And there were other very sweet gestures. Of course, these all occurred during his pull phase (pull closer) versus his push phase (push away). |
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Post by stavs on Dec 3, 2018 14:23:33 GMT
Sometimes they do, but you have to look closely as it may not be what you "expect" in the normal sense. My FA girlfriend has recently bought a few gifts for my cats. One thing was she bought them a Nightmare Before Xmas bed (its my favorite movie). It was a gesture for the cats, but there was certainly thought about it since she knows I love the movie. Another was she bought them a sloth blankie....we have an inside joke regarding sloths, and again, even though it was for the cats, it was her way of being romantic in some way. She is not big into giving gifts, so both of these meant a lot. She's still a pain in the @ss to deal with though because of her being FA, but that's another story.  A lot of times you just have to read between the lines. |
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Post by epicgum on Dec 3, 2018 19:05:36 GMT
Absolutely, that's part of the FA -ness...closeness then running, then closeness.
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Post by writerguy on Dec 4, 2018 23:05:22 GMT
Funny, it was one of the ways I could gauge when my FA ex was pulling away: she would stop doing ANY nice gestures for me. That would include: no more sweet emails, not much texting, and things like completely forgetting my birthday (no gift, no dinner...just a card that literally said "Candles lit...Gifts wrapped...Hands clapping...(then inside) Card Delivered. Birthday taken care of.") I was the kind of guy that would bring her something from every trip I took, but she often wouldn't buy me almost nothing on special occasions - especially in the last year when she was pulling away.
When she was really wanting me closer, she could do many nice things, but I did tend to notice that most of emotional important things came in the form of emails or cards, never actually spoken in person because that was too scary. And the emails could be sweet, but ALL OVER THE MAP. ("I know you're off on another one of your business trips. I've become aware of how easy I am to forget. Not that I don't want you to go. I'm reading your cards and poems to me about my blonde hair and soft skin and hotness and I'm realizing all of those things are now gone.")
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Post by tnr9 on Dec 5, 2018 14:38:24 GMT
Absolutely, that's part of the FA -ness...closeness then running, then closeness. ...thank you for keeping it real.š |
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Post by suburbanwizard on Dec 6, 2018 17:40:59 GMT
My experience with an FA was a lot of sincere interest and intimacy and then the flip of a switch to coolness and distance.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2018 21:35:23 GMT
Yeah, I actually gave up from great gestures of love after not being reciprocated or appreciated by more avoidant partners
It made me feel ashamed of doing them... now it feels brave to write someone a love note, even as small as that is, let alone bigger things
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