Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2018 8:08:22 GMT
First off, he seems to be more fearful than dismissive.
Second off, no offence but your attitude might be the problem here.
He seems to want something more serious (safety) and likely, he's scared of getting hurt, meanwhile you're still married and not in a hurry to get a divorce, you say you don't love him, that it's just for fun, that heartbreaks are not a big deal while apparently it's not true for him.
Avoidant or not, no wonder he doesn't want to get attached to you. Insecure attachment is a coping mechanism, he's trying to protect himself while you're escalating his fears. As FA, I'd run away from you.
You should make up your mind what you want from him and then try to understand him. The fact that he's already less attractive to you because he doesn't meet your expectations is a red flag. Just move on if you don't care about him and he's just a pastime. Those people are damaged and they don't need even more damage.
Second off, no offence but your attitude might be the problem here.
He seems to want something more serious (safety) and likely, he's scared of getting hurt, meanwhile you're still married and not in a hurry to get a divorce, you say you don't love him, that it's just for fun, that heartbreaks are not a big deal while apparently it's not true for him.
Avoidant or not, no wonder he doesn't want to get attached to you. Insecure attachment is a coping mechanism, he's trying to protect himself while you're escalating his fears. As FA, I'd run away from you.
You should make up your mind what you want from him and then try to understand him. The fact that he's already less attractive to you because he doesn't meet your expectations is a red flag. Just move on if you don't care about him and he's just a pastime. Those people are damaged and they don't need even more damage.