Letting go of the past

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tnr9
Platinum Member

Posts: 3,782

Letting go of the past Apr 23, 2018 17:27:02 GMT

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Post by tnr9 on Apr 23, 2018 17:27:02 GMT

The below was posed by Mary in the DA section so I am bringing it here..

I do wonder if those with AP or FA styles have a harder time letting go of the past, because they still have hope.

For me personally, I don't think I associate the "hope" back to my mom...I think the hope for acceptance and consistent love has travelled like a vegavpbond from relationship to relationship. I think the only connection back to my mom is the inconsistency of connection.

leavethelighton
Honored Contributor

Posts: 792

Letting go of the past Apr 25, 2018 1:42:51 GMT

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Post by leavethelighton on Apr 25, 2018 1:42:51 GMT

Well in situations where I have an AP-DA dynamic, I can spend years or even decades not really letting go-- thinking letting go is impossible-- and I think it is because of a lingering and unquenchable hope. I find it sort of amusing when people post on these boards about how it's been a whole month or even 6 months and they can't let go. To me, that's nothing, timewise.

Unfortunately I can't really trace things back to my parents or childhood. I don't know what creates it.