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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2018 0:01:17 GMT
I am getting a closet homosexual vibe from both of these guys. Just stating my opinion, I am apologizing ahead of time if this offends. I think even if they were homosexuals, they would still be dismissive avoidant homosexuals, i.e. Rollins would still pursue his passion above all, and 2nd guy would still find it bothersome to have to care about a partner. Either way, I do wish that they would sugar-coat it a little more. I do get it that a % of DA simply don't need anyone else in their lives at all, and have no need for a partner, except to meet a particular need, sex, a couple of times a week. I wonder what % though? |
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Post by annieb on Apr 26, 2018 0:41:26 GMT
I am getting a closet homosexual vibe from both of these guys. Just stating my opinion, I am apologizing ahead of time if this offends. I'm curious - in what way do you feel that is relevant to mention in terms of attachment theory? obviously I am going ona total speculation limb here, but in terms of attachment theory. Their denial of homosexuality is strong, yet they are not attaching to females either to perhaps leave the door open for a potential homosexuality albeit they would never "go there"e. I think especially the first guy, who is in less denial than the second guy. The first guy at least admits to having a very special best friend. |
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Post by annieb on Apr 26, 2018 0:44:57 GMT
I am getting a closet homosexual vibe from both of these guys. Just stating my opinion, I am apologizing ahead of time if this offends. I think even if they were homosexuals, they would still be dismissive avoidant homosexuals, i.e. Rollins would still pursue his passion above all, and 2nd guy would still find it bothersome to have to care about a partner. Either way, I do wish that they would sugar-coat it a little more. I do get it that a % of DA simply don't need anyone else in their lives at all, and have no need for a partner, except to meet a particular need, sex, a couple of times a week. I wonder what % though? Yes, I am with you, they would still be dismissive avoidants, but perhaps the opposite gender is especially triggering for them. Because obviously the amount of obstacles and perceived issues they are putting in between them and a relationship is really pathological. Humans are so funny. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2018 3:06:59 GMT
Henry Rollins, the first guy is a famous musician and passionate about his work. He is probably also dismissive avoidant, and there is likely an interaction between the amount of energy he enjoys putting into his work and the lack of desire for a typical relationship. Then there is the lack of understanding in society for nontypical relationships. People do not exactly come to you door saying "Hey, we both like these records, how about I come over every saturday so we can listen to music and order some lunch?" Some that do want a part time relationship also want to cheat. So it takes effort to find someone compatible and that effort is better spent on writing songs if that is your passion. As christie said, the 2nd guy is a jerk or worse. Do you think the second is avoidant? He makes a lot of points about being friends with benefits that can go out to dinner and have sex but will not want any obligations of a relationship. He used the word “companion “ to describe what he wanted which I have heard Mary use before as what a DA seeks. The first guy seems to me like he has avoidant personality disorder, which is different from avoidant attachment. He said he doesn't even like when his friends call. The second guy seems like he may be putting on an "act". However, he seems like he just wants sex and has no regard for anyone. Taken at face value, they both may be avoidant, but also layered with other issues. I have used the word companion, but I think our definitions differ. Guy #2 wants nothing more than a blow up doll. Companion to me would be a relaxed "relationship" that would be more than just casual sex. My definition of companion would include doing things together, talking, being supportive of each other, etc. I just don't need the "we are on the road to getting married" and "where is this relationship going" stuff. |
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Post by mrob on Apr 26, 2018 7:56:26 GMT
Do you think the second is avoidant? He makes a lot of points about being friends with benefits that can go out to dinner and have sex but will not want any obligations of a relationship. He used the word “companion “ to describe what he wanted which I have heard Mary use before as what a DA seeks. The first guy seems to me like he has avoidant personality disorder, which is different from avoidant attachment. He said he doesn't even like when his friends call. The second guy seems like he may be putting on an "act". However, he seems like he just wants sex and has no regard for anyone. Taken at face value, they both may be avoidant, but also layered with other issues. I have used the word companion, but I think our definitions differ. Guy #2 wants nothing more than a blow up doll. Companion to me would be a relaxed "relationship" that would be more than just casual sex. My definition of companion would include doing things together, talking, being supportive of each other, etc. I just don't need the "we are on the road to getting married" and "where is this relationship going" stuff. That’s what I’m after too. Just take each day as it comes. Why would I not be kind, considerate and caring? Companion is a great way of putting it. |
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Post by kelvain on Apr 27, 2018 11:01:32 GMT
Great post Scheme00. I definitely hear a lot of my ex DA in both interviews. Makes me even happier that she is my EX DA!!!!!    |
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