Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2018 13:17:14 GMT
anne12 has written a really great post here with a list of what it means to relate from a secure style.
Her post reminded me of this checklist that I downloaded last year that was written by psychotherapist Alan Robarge. (You can find his videos on attachment here)
1) Are you both genuinely curious about each other’s inner world experiences?
2) Do you both practice engaged listening and the art of give-and-take conversation?
3) Do you both know how to identify when there’s a need for relationship repair?
4) Do you both know how to turn towards each other for support?
5) Do you both know how to tolerate that some conflicts are unresolvable?
6) Are you both able to not make each other responsible for your feelings?
7) Do you both have emotional nourishment and meaningful connections outside the relationship?
8) Do you offer each other playful spontaneity and light-hearted interactions?
9) Do you both have a fulfilling life apart from each other?
10) Do you both know how to offer comfort when the other person is feeling down or hurt?
11) Are you both free to be yourself when around each other?
12) Do you both genuinely like and respect each other?
13) Are you both able to stay true to yourself even if it means displeasing your partner?
14) Does sexual relating include a balance of eroticism, play, openness, and emotional bonding?
15) Are you both able to hold true to your boundaries when your partner challenges them?
Her post reminded me of this checklist that I downloaded last year that was written by psychotherapist Alan Robarge. (You can find his videos on attachment here)
The Emotional Availability Checklist
2) Do you both practice engaged listening and the art of give-and-take conversation?
3) Do you both know how to identify when there’s a need for relationship repair?
4) Do you both know how to turn towards each other for support?
5) Do you both know how to tolerate that some conflicts are unresolvable?
6) Are you both able to not make each other responsible for your feelings?
7) Do you both have emotional nourishment and meaningful connections outside the relationship?
8) Do you offer each other playful spontaneity and light-hearted interactions?
9) Do you both have a fulfilling life apart from each other?
10) Do you both know how to offer comfort when the other person is feeling down or hurt?
11) Are you both free to be yourself when around each other?
12) Do you both genuinely like and respect each other?
13) Are you both able to stay true to yourself even if it means displeasing your partner?
14) Does sexual relating include a balance of eroticism, play, openness, and emotional bonding?
15) Are you both able to hold true to your boundaries when your partner challenges them?
