Protest behavior and request for emotional connection

Haven't watched the videos yet but would like to talk about communicating needs. Some needs do not need to be communicated, it is a given.

Your partner's parent dies in another far away country and you are totally alone, no family a part from your own infant of 10 years old.

Did I need to communicate "call me", "come to see me" , "ask if I need anything"

Really ?

It is only my personal experience with that particular guy.

My purse was stolen one day, I was in the supermarket about to pay for my groceries. After I solved everything, calmed down, credit cards cancelled, police contacted, etc etc etc, I made a comment to him about it during our usual evening texting session, his reply "you need to be more careful!"

WTF? Talk about victim blame. That was the 1st time in 40 years I had anything stolen from me. Or maybe I misplaced it, who knows? But it never happened before. I am super careful with all of my belongs.
And I had a child to feed as well as myself.
And that was his response?
No "do you need anything", "do you have any food in the house", "are you hungry", "how can I help"
Nothing a part from criticism. And I shrugged it off, I didn't come back to him highlighting how inappropriate his response was.

Thanks God I am out. Not interested into teaching a 45 year old man to act like a real man / boyfriend / partner
Not interested in been with someone who can only be there for me for the good times. Unless the bad times are coming from him and he needs a shoulder to lay on.

This is very true!

Some of the protest behaviours are actually emotionally abusive and the healthy response is to create distance. Sitting on the sofa pouting is one thing, but constant belittling is abusive.

I can say that never happened in my life as a child. I don’t remember a single time that a response like you quoted was offered. Ever. Children, relatives, friends. Questions like that, I didn’t learn anything about until my SECOND marriage, where I saw people relate to each other in a reasonable way. Still, they’re not the first things that come into my mind, but I try. That short delay would drive my ex wife wild. I’d see the trouble and not immediately know how to act. There was no instinct. No instinct. I understand that would be baffling for most people. I knew I should be feeling something and respond but had no idea what to do. I’d gave to think, then do it.