Post by DearLover on May 8, 2018 19:29:27 GMT
I have been very fortunate to have had the opportunity to meet and flirt with two new different guys this weekend. I will call them guy 1 and guy 2.
First time I saw guy 1 I felt some sort of magnetism straight away. Curiosity even. I felt open and comfortable. Eye contact and smiles happened effortlessly and it was kind of synchronised. I noticed his strong qualities first. When he gave attention to other people I felt at ease and never doubted that there was actually a spark going on between us. We talked to each other for a bit and I left hopeful that there is a possibility to see him again.
First time I saw guy 2 I felt some sort of repulsion for a moment (same feeling I felt from DA ex BF) but I couldn't put my finger on it. There was really no rational reason. I didn't want to get to know him or get close at first. I didn't want him to even notice me. As the event progressed, I observed him better and I started to rationalise: he was good looking and he was at this event which I am totally passionate about (so I could see us together in the future taking part in it as a couple) but I noticed his 'flaws' first then deliberately looked for qualities. The eye contact and smiles didn't start straight away but when it did, it was a bit awkward and a shy side of me came through even though I wasn't feeling shy until then. It felt like there was an invisible barrier between us. I had to try hard to remain authentic and not put on a mask. When he was giving attention to other people I felt worried (and yes we were just flirting), thinking if all the flirting was just in my head / or he lost interest. However I tried to avoid further flirting because it didn't feel easy. We didn't have opportunity to talk as I had to leave before the end but the thoughts that crossed my mind were: will I see him again? should I make some sort of move? should I make a plan to manipulate him into approaching me? What if he is 'the one' and I am wasting this opportunity? What if he didn't approach because I didn't flirt well enough??
See the difference??
I know it sounds obvious but believe me, few months ago I would be totally unaware of my body feelings and my mind playing tricks on me.
And by the way, with guy 1 , we also were doing something that I am passionate about but my mind didn't go into overdrive thinking that this must be a sign, and "Oh my God we are going to do this together once we are a couple"
I think guy 1 brought the Secure aspects out of me and guy 2 brought the AP aspects out of me. And all done in the subconscious level since the interactions were very superficial.
It would be so interesting to get to know both of them better and do a 'study' to see which attachment style they have.
Fun fun fun!
First time I saw guy 1 I felt some sort of magnetism straight away. Curiosity even. I felt open and comfortable. Eye contact and smiles happened effortlessly and it was kind of synchronised. I noticed his strong qualities first. When he gave attention to other people I felt at ease and never doubted that there was actually a spark going on between us. We talked to each other for a bit and I left hopeful that there is a possibility to see him again.
First time I saw guy 2 I felt some sort of repulsion for a moment (same feeling I felt from DA ex BF) but I couldn't put my finger on it. There was really no rational reason. I didn't want to get to know him or get close at first. I didn't want him to even notice me. As the event progressed, I observed him better and I started to rationalise: he was good looking and he was at this event which I am totally passionate about (so I could see us together in the future taking part in it as a couple) but I noticed his 'flaws' first then deliberately looked for qualities. The eye contact and smiles didn't start straight away but when it did, it was a bit awkward and a shy side of me came through even though I wasn't feeling shy until then. It felt like there was an invisible barrier between us. I had to try hard to remain authentic and not put on a mask. When he was giving attention to other people I felt worried (and yes we were just flirting), thinking if all the flirting was just in my head / or he lost interest. However I tried to avoid further flirting because it didn't feel easy. We didn't have opportunity to talk as I had to leave before the end but the thoughts that crossed my mind were: will I see him again? should I make some sort of move? should I make a plan to manipulate him into approaching me? What if he is 'the one' and I am wasting this opportunity? What if he didn't approach because I didn't flirt well enough??
See the difference??
I know it sounds obvious but believe me, few months ago I would be totally unaware of my body feelings and my mind playing tricks on me.
And by the way, with guy 1 , we also were doing something that I am passionate about but my mind didn't go into overdrive thinking that this must be a sign, and "Oh my God we are going to do this together once we are a couple"
I think guy 1 brought the Secure aspects out of me and guy 2 brought the AP aspects out of me. And all done in the subconscious level since the interactions were very superficial.
It would be so interesting to get to know both of them better and do a 'study' to see which attachment style they have.
Fun fun fun!
