Post by Gay anxious on Nov 8, 2016 0:12:45 GMT
Hello everyone,
I'm fairly new to attachment theory, discovered it literally a week or two after my 10 year relationship with an extreme avoidant was ended by him.
Now I'm very aware of why we had such a hard go of it. I'm pretty determined to become securely attached and interested in knowing how to do that.
I read that finding a secure partner can 'buffer' you and make you more secure but I want to work on myself right now and become more self sufficient and be in place where I won't scare a secure away. Also I am sure I am drawn to avoidant types so I figure becoming more secure might alleviate this tendency.
I was engaging in dialectical behavioral therapy because my avoidant said he would no longer tolerate my angry outbursts. Since discovering attachment theory I read somewhere that dbt can be helpful as it includes some specific attributes that help, i.e. Mindfulness, emotional regulation, etc. but once I complete dbt I am interested to know what further I can do to become an earned secure.
I'm fairly new to attachment theory, discovered it literally a week or two after my 10 year relationship with an extreme avoidant was ended by him.
Now I'm very aware of why we had such a hard go of it. I'm pretty determined to become securely attached and interested in knowing how to do that.
I read that finding a secure partner can 'buffer' you and make you more secure but I want to work on myself right now and become more self sufficient and be in place where I won't scare a secure away. Also I am sure I am drawn to avoidant types so I figure becoming more secure might alleviate this tendency.
I was engaging in dialectical behavioral therapy because my avoidant said he would no longer tolerate my angry outbursts. Since discovering attachment theory I read somewhere that dbt can be helpful as it includes some specific attributes that help, i.e. Mindfulness, emotional regulation, etc. but once I complete dbt I am interested to know what further I can do to become an earned secure.