feeling ashamed and disgusted after getting close

I feel like he's this way because he's never been in a relationship, and is depressed. He's also told me he (might?) have aspergers. The thought has occurred to me that, even though he might like me, he might also just want someone, anyone. But I feel like if this is mostly due to inexperience, depression and the likes, I think I'm willing to be a friend, and I'm still open for more later one, maybe, but in order to see if this can go further we just really need to take it easy.

"This is where you have to understand your own gut and inner self more than you need to understand someone else!" <<< I'm keeping this quote. I feel like I too often doubt my own reality and perception and think I'm wrong or insecure, and that I'd potentially miss out on an experience if I close myself off.

brokenbiscuit - there are various sites that explain how narcissists know: if you are kind, open, thoughtful, giving, etc (i.e. 'nice' things), they can see it straight away.  

Here are some pointers (in case it's not obvious, I suffered greatly at the hands of narcissists, which is why I found these):

Richard Grannon helps (greatly) with narcissistic abuse and C-PTSD (which I was diagnosed with)
Baggage Reclaim is a very down to earth advice site
Melanie Tonia Evans
Lisa A Romano
Sam Vaknin is a narcissist who writes / podcasts / youtubes about it.

as i wrote earlier, they didn't use love bombing on me as i am not the open anxious romantic type.

they adjust.

Yes - I've seen the same narcissist/s work on others (mostly non-romantic, including me), so the 'love-bombing' was anything that pulled the target in, the target being someone who has something that the N wants (adoration, praise, social status - any form or power), and who is not necessary an AP.

ugh, that's what my therapist said.
i was so PISSED that he saw my strengths and talents and had to exalt himself over me like a bully.
And i was so surprised too because everything i read about narcissists at the time described love bombing. I didn't even spend a bunch of time with the narcissist, and he never hardly even flirted with me or complimented me. i totally missed any signs. What i felt uncomfortable with was how he refused to agree to disagree and i would find myself in these circular crazy making conversations. i would distance by exiting because i felt so angry and manipulated. but i thought it was good for me to go calm down and try to reason. It was all insidious, and didn't get really bad until we moved in together. This was STILL part of what i though was a great arrangement for both of us as he didn't seem to need too much time together . i didn't know anything about attachment style but i as very dismissive at the time. I thought how i was in relationship was just average but it turns out, dismissive is a thing.

Anyway- my point is, i missed this all, i think, because i was dismissive! an anxious person might miss it, because of their anxious attachment. The marc will knownhow best to manipulate whoever it is they need something from it seems. Not knowing our internal cues makes us all vulnerable .

I think a gentle "let's slow this down and see how it goes" is the best approach, but it looks like you have already reached that conclusion 👍. He's admitted he's anxious which seems about right going by his reactions. Hey, he likes you! It's good you haven't turned your back on him and you reached out to keep things going. I think that's the right approach, but yes, as others have said, remain aware. But I think that's good general advice we should all follow in all aspects of life ☺️

juniper - This is one of my biggest struggles. I find it so hard to know what I feel, want and need. I constantly doubting myself and unsure what's real, what's I'm fear and what's anxiety.