Tonight I had to sit with jealousy

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Let it flow like a stream. It takes a lot of courage to be sad. With grieving comes increased awareness: of what's truly important to you. If you allow sadness to teach you, it actually will resolve faster than any effort to fight it.

tnr9 , you will be ok <3  You'll be able to create millions of very happy new memories.

I have some of those feelings as well. Its hard and Im a secure type. I see this as more a human thing over an attachment thing. Our attachments comes into play on how we react to these feeling like an AP who may still chase them down instead of just feeling the feelings and not chase letting go. These feelings are ok you just cant let them swallow you.

I still have them even though I know what ever gal comes after me wont have him either. No gal will until he works on himself.

Its also hard because of any of the gals hes dated I probably get him the most and he doesn't see it.

Ive fully accepted the reality of him but it still hurts. I just take it one day at a time and keep doing me. He will always have a soft spot in my heart but in time my feelings will go away for him. It certainly been harder to let him go than it has for others in my life.

Legitimate question Christie.....my immediate response is yes (with tears because of fear of being judged for that answer) probably because I am in a very protective space.  I understand what you are driving at....and I will admit, I am not in a space to look at him objectively...which I a know drives many posters on this board crazy.  I am still a work in progress it seems.

I understand how you feel; when I was in my anxious state he was God's sent gift, he was the only one, worth anything, there was no one like him. When times were rough and we were caught up in a toxic dynamic I spent SO much time pinning after him. I WASTED so much time, I wasted ME, my energy, my happiness and for what? It had no benefits for me, for him either. He was taking care of himself, growing and I was regressing.  

There were time we were on a break/"just friends" kind of thing- the exact same thing we hear here over and over again. I wanted to be his friend because "he's my best friend and I can't lose him"- or so I explained it to myself. In reality, I was hoping that if I stayed close it either somehow magically prevented him from finding someone else, or it'd be better to know if he did, it'd "help me" . It was my pure masochism preventing me from moving on. I was just waiting and feeding my anxiety.

Now things are more or less good and stable, I do love, I will always love him and I'll do anything for him even if we part our ways but I regret that time very much. It... HE was and is not worth it. A relationship which he doesn't want is not worth my life nor my mental health.

The girl is not better than you, he doesn't like her more than you, she's just an another girl, maybe he thinks it could work out this time, or maybe he doesn't think at all. He's searching, trying to fill a void, it's about him not you or her. So is just a guy that any girl can have worth it? No.
It won't work out again, he'll go on another search, he'll do the same things with new girls... are they so special to him? No. 
It's replaceable.
There are other guys out there, secure guys, guys that can love and be grateful for your love. Someone who will give you something that isn't replaceable. You might miss it because you're still pinning after him. Is he worth it? Is pinning after him worth your happiness? It's not.  

Think of it as an exchange... what is/was he giving you exactly? Is it irreplaceable? Is there nothing better? Is it worth the price you're paying?

and P.S. i'm sorry i jumped the fence this one time into the support area, i hope it's ok and i won't abuse the boundary, i promise.
i just wanted to remind you that you are worthy of better than you've ever known.

So many good comments and great reminders...I have more to say but am in meetings so I will return when I am able.

Not directly related to what you are talking about, but a recent insight that I had was that "jealousy is about abandonment--being forsaken by the ones we love, envy is about desire--wanting what we do not have". Maybe it is worth parsing your feelings trying to figure what it is you are feeling. Sometimes naming and understanding things (feelings) can make us less intimidated and help to give us mastery over them.