hola
Junior Member
Posts: 61
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Post by hola on Mar 22, 2019 4:29:37 GMT
Tnr9 and mistakes That’s why I just walked away from my FA. Because after 15 months, I felt invisible and felt I was no where in his life. My frustration and resentment grew til I could no longer ignore the elephant in the room. So I confronted him about “what are we doing? Where are we in each other’s life?” He said we’d talk about it but Of course if it wasn’t one thing it was another. Excuse after excuse. The next day we texted each other “good morning” and I waited for him to call me. He didn’t call me all day. My fear kicked in but I refused to call him. It’s been now over a month of NC. No breaking up no nothing.
His ex before me was AP to the point that she’d stalk him and caused a lot of drama in his life. She’d still show up while we were dating trying to get him back. I feel he’d use her as a wedge between us at times. (Like a phantom ex)
Today is not a good day. My fear of rejection/abandonment has really kicked in and I’m really missing him. I keep thinking he’s probably back w/his crazy ex and that makes me panic even more ugh. Attachments are so devastating :-(
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Post by mrob on Mar 22, 2019 7:25:31 GMT
So long as you see that the FA isn’t the only person with a problem and is not the only person with insecure attachment. It takes two to tango. This is your opportunity to look at your stuff. It’s easy to find fault in others, less so ourselves.
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Post by unluckyinlove on Mar 22, 2019 12:33:55 GMT
Tnr9 and mistakes That’s why I just walked away from my FA. Because after 15 months, I felt invisible and felt I was no where in his life. My frustration and resentment grew til I could no longer ignore the elephant in the room. So I confronted him about “what are we doing? Where are we in each other’s life?” He said we’d talk about it but Of course if it wasn’t one thing it was another. Excuse after excuse. The next day we texted each other “good morning” and I waited for him to call me. He didn’t call me all day. My fear kicked in but I refused to call him. It’s been now over a month of NC. No breaking up no nothing. His ex before me was AP to the point that she’d stalk him and caused a lot of drama in his life. She’d still show up while we were dating trying to get him back. I feel he’d use her as a wedge between us at times. (Like a phantom ex) Today is not a good day. My fear of rejection/abandonment has really kicked in and I’m really missing him. I keep thinking he’s probably back w/his crazy ex and that makes me panic even more ugh. Attachments are so devastating :-( . Sounds like my situation....my FA kept me in the “relationship box” and hid me from the rest of his life. I finally confronted him about it and he just left in the middle of the night after an almost 3 yr relationship. That was 4 months ago and no contact. Now there are rumors that he may already be dating a girl that chased him our whole relationship. It makes me feel very rejected, abandoned, replaced, and discarded. My self esteem is fighting right now for reaffirmation. It’s been a hard couple of weeks for me too. I’ve just been trying my best to go out, look my best, keep busy, have fun and let my mind be as free of him as I possibly can. It doesn’t matter now what he’s doing. It MY turn to shine....and there are many folks noticing 😊
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hola
Junior Member
Posts: 61
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Post by hola on Mar 22, 2019 15:52:20 GMT
So long as you see that the FA isn’t the only person with a problem and is not the only person with insecure attachment. It takes two to tango. This is your opportunity to look at your stuff. It’s easy to find fault in others, less so ourselves. Yes, I've been listening to my Tracy Crossley's podcast on repeat to give me the brutal truth about the responsibility being MINE. I love my ex FA very much and I have a lot of compassion and understanding for him. It's not his fault, we're human and needs change in the course of a relationship. Of ANY relationship. I will sit here w/all this internal goo I have and try to feel as much as I can. I'm seriously Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give right now. It will get better w/time.
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Post by tnr9 on Mar 22, 2019 16:47:52 GMT
I hate silence...despise it really...it leaves far too much room for interpretation and activates a very old wound of feeling like I did something wrong.
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