Post by anne12 on May 31, 2019 13:49:14 GMT
Rejection:
The psychological mechanism with a rejection. You feel uncomfortable: You feel anxiety in the body, pain in the chest, pain in the heart, you get hot, you get reddish cheeks ect. The sympathetic nervous system is activated.
When we compare ourselves with the best of others, we Will lose each time. (Byron Katie)
Remember: One who rejects you acts on his own and the person's own story and the person's own attachment pattern.
Your own interpretation of the rejection creates what happens inside you. If you feel the rejection is uncomfortable, it is something about yourself, that you do not want to be with, a subpersonality.
You're going to reject all of yourself. You think "I'm not worth anything" and you discard yourself.
Ask yourself: What is it about myself I don't want to be with / that I do not like about myself?
You can use the paradoxical change method: Ex. if You think You have got and ugly nose: "Okay nose, it's ok you look like you do". If resistance, then allow the resistance to be there.
Many People projects what they do not like about themselves and their own uncertainty on their physical body.
Ask yourself: What characteristic of me is IT, that I think others do not like about me?.
Use Tools to get into the now.
Exercise of the respiratory attention.
Mindfulness
Water Tank Exercise
Orientation Exercise
Healing the frozen child
Healing of a broken ❤️
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/12850/
jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/880/self-regulating-regulation-exercises-ect
In the precent you do not discard yourself
Stand by yourself. Don't discard yourself.
Imagine and say: "Well, this is horrible but I Will be okay".
Love yourself and set yourself and set the other person free. Accept that this is what the other person chooses. Remember that you do not know what's going on in the other person.
Remember in the dating environment there are many burnt children.
Sometimes You can Consider whether to take a new change with the same person later.
Does the one you have rejected continue to show interest in you? Then maybe you should go out with the person again.
Remember that we humans should be allowed to say "NO" more than once. Salesmen and kids knows about this. Consider whether it is good for you to rehearse and try again.
The securely attatched:
Does not reject himself. You do not feel rejected and do not take it personally. They think about what happened and think that another time I will do it differently
The ambivalent:
Is known for feeling rejected. Thinks it is their own fault and takes it personally. The ambivalent looks for signs that they Will Be rejected.
They are particularly sensitive to those reminiscent of a rejection even if it is not a rejection at all. Their radar runs all the time.
"What If the other says no", "what if the other pulls away".
It is stressful for the nervous system. They discard themselves and they can also quickly discard others. Some may also find 10 things that are wrong with the the other person .
The ambivalent can use the paradoxical change method. And remember that what the other one does or does not do, has nothing to do with themselves. It has something to do with the other's preferences. When they date, they can quickly say no, as they can also be afraid of hurting themselves or others. The ambivalent has high expectations in love and when they date. They can crie, when they are getting rejected But not as intence as the desorganised.
The dismissive:
Has no expectations and therefore often has no trigger with being rejected.
The disorganized:
They can explode, yell at the other, use namecalling, collapse into tears and reject themselves completely. They may want to disappear. There is a lot of shame. They are either or. The other is either their friend or their enemy. There is a Lot of survival energy in their nervous system. Much fight / flight reactions. They can collapse, become very despaired by a rejection and they can give up and want to disappear / feel that they just want to die.
Repair Tutorial rejection:
If you get upset, overwhelmed by the exercise, then you can look around, say a loud sound, sing, move the body, make grimaces with the face. This activates the ventral part of the vagus nerve.
Think of a rejection recently, far back, or a rejection from your childhood. On a scale from 0-10 use a rejection that feels like 6 or 7 on the scale.
Sit on a chair. Feel that the chair carries your weight. Feel the sit bones, legs, feet, toes. Move your toes. Feel the shoulders, arms, hands. Move your shoulders. Look at your hands and move your fingers.
Imagine the rejection and imagine what resources were missing at the time. Bring in the ressources, so you didn't feel rejected or the other didn't reject you at the time it happend. In order to get into the moment in the situation - imagine an animal, a person ect. (From the coming into secure exercise)
Notice the senses in the body. Tensions, lurking, turmoil, champagne bubbles ect.
If it is impossible for the other to be able to love you in this exercise, you can imagine someone else coming in, who will like you and love you instead.
Feel that you feel loved and that there is someone else who will love you.
Imagine there is another person who reaches out for you and welcomes you.
Allow whatever in the body that feels comfortable to be there and let it spread without you forcing it to spread.
Use the paracdoxal change method if necessary. jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1128/accepting-paradoxial-change-method
jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1169/healing-broken-before-changing-partner
The psychological mechanism with a rejection. You feel uncomfortable: You feel anxiety in the body, pain in the chest, pain in the heart, you get hot, you get reddish cheeks ect. The sympathetic nervous system is activated.
When we compare ourselves with the best of others, we Will lose each time. (Byron Katie)
Remember: One who rejects you acts on his own and the person's own story and the person's own attachment pattern.
Your own interpretation of the rejection creates what happens inside you. If you feel the rejection is uncomfortable, it is something about yourself, that you do not want to be with, a subpersonality.
You're going to reject all of yourself. You think "I'm not worth anything" and you discard yourself.
Ask yourself: What is it about myself I don't want to be with / that I do not like about myself?
You can use the paradoxical change method: Ex. if You think You have got and ugly nose: "Okay nose, it's ok you look like you do". If resistance, then allow the resistance to be there.
Many People projects what they do not like about themselves and their own uncertainty on their physical body.
Ask yourself: What characteristic of me is IT, that I think others do not like about me?.
Use Tools to get into the now.
Exercise of the respiratory attention.
Mindfulness
Water Tank Exercise
Orientation Exercise
Healing the frozen child
Healing of a broken ❤️
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/12850/
jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/880/self-regulating-regulation-exercises-ect
In the precent you do not discard yourself
Stand by yourself. Don't discard yourself.
Imagine and say: "Well, this is horrible but I Will be okay".
Love yourself and set yourself and set the other person free. Accept that this is what the other person chooses. Remember that you do not know what's going on in the other person.
Remember in the dating environment there are many burnt children.
Sometimes You can Consider whether to take a new change with the same person later.
Does the one you have rejected continue to show interest in you? Then maybe you should go out with the person again.
Remember that we humans should be allowed to say "NO" more than once. Salesmen and kids knows about this. Consider whether it is good for you to rehearse and try again.
The securely attatched:
Does not reject himself. You do not feel rejected and do not take it personally. They think about what happened and think that another time I will do it differently
The ambivalent:
Is known for feeling rejected. Thinks it is their own fault and takes it personally. The ambivalent looks for signs that they Will Be rejected.
They are particularly sensitive to those reminiscent of a rejection even if it is not a rejection at all. Their radar runs all the time.
"What If the other says no", "what if the other pulls away".
It is stressful for the nervous system. They discard themselves and they can also quickly discard others. Some may also find 10 things that are wrong with the the other person .
The ambivalent can use the paradoxical change method. And remember that what the other one does or does not do, has nothing to do with themselves. It has something to do with the other's preferences. When they date, they can quickly say no, as they can also be afraid of hurting themselves or others. The ambivalent has high expectations in love and when they date. They can crie, when they are getting rejected But not as intence as the desorganised.
The dismissive:
Has no expectations and therefore often has no trigger with being rejected.
The disorganized:
They can explode, yell at the other, use namecalling, collapse into tears and reject themselves completely. They may want to disappear. There is a lot of shame. They are either or. The other is either their friend or their enemy. There is a Lot of survival energy in their nervous system. Much fight / flight reactions. They can collapse, become very despaired by a rejection and they can give up and want to disappear / feel that they just want to die.
Repair Tutorial rejection:
If you get upset, overwhelmed by the exercise, then you can look around, say a loud sound, sing, move the body, make grimaces with the face. This activates the ventral part of the vagus nerve.
Think of a rejection recently, far back, or a rejection from your childhood. On a scale from 0-10 use a rejection that feels like 6 or 7 on the scale.
Sit on a chair. Feel that the chair carries your weight. Feel the sit bones, legs, feet, toes. Move your toes. Feel the shoulders, arms, hands. Move your shoulders. Look at your hands and move your fingers.
Imagine the rejection and imagine what resources were missing at the time. Bring in the ressources, so you didn't feel rejected or the other didn't reject you at the time it happend. In order to get into the moment in the situation - imagine an animal, a person ect. (From the coming into secure exercise)
Notice the senses in the body. Tensions, lurking, turmoil, champagne bubbles ect.
If it is impossible for the other to be able to love you in this exercise, you can imagine someone else coming in, who will like you and love you instead.
Feel that you feel loved and that there is someone else who will love you.
Imagine there is another person who reaches out for you and welcomes you.
Allow whatever in the body that feels comfortable to be there and let it spread without you forcing it to spread.
Use the paracdoxal change method if necessary. jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1128/accepting-paradoxial-change-method
jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1169/healing-broken-before-changing-partner