Thoughts on DA "high self esteem"?

So you don’t think it’s possible for someone wise to have insight? An example.... I can see someone in my life acting in a certain very familiar way, and I’m further along the path of discovery than them. Surely it’s in how that insight is used.

I don't think it's insight if it leads to making the same untrue accusations about everyone you meet. Accusations which include persecution of you, assuming ill intent. Neither my ex nor my mother were wise, with insight into themselves or other people. I won't go into the detail of the things they said, but in my case it was clearly a case of choosing someone like a dysfunctional parent.

I'm not sure if that was what you were getting at, as I definitely think that people can be wise and with insight. People also can be blind and using a lot of projection, and think its insight.

And example would be people here in the forum who mind-read their partner, think they can figure them out by reading about an attachment style, think the person is wanting this or that, meaning x when they say y.... and then boom they find out their insight was wrong. The ex partner meant what they said when they said y, didn't think or feel what was hoped for, and all of the sudden, that ex partner is evil and manipulative and this and that and actually, what has gone on is a ton of projection, blame, faulty analysis, and mind reading.

That's not quite a perfect fit for the kind of projection I'm talking about, between my mother and my ex. But it's an example of someone getting into someone else's head and being way off base, and not analyzing themselves to the extent they should to get real wisdom and insight.

Oh and amber - yes the "trying to help you see your blind spots" in an unresolved insecure individual can entail a lot of projection. Another way this can show up, not related to anything you have said, is someone having an affair in their marriage, and jealously worried that their affair partner is "cheating " on them and will find another lover. Or having a porn addiction and preaching about chastity. This kind of "insight" into other people's psychology and the need to do something about it is just projection.

Just think of all the many posts on the forum where a person goes into the entire biography and psychology of the person they are entangled with.  We learn about the target's early childhood, their relationship history, their suspected emotional states, I mean an incredible amount of detail as well as speculation about the person.  All we learn about the poster really is what they think about the target.  Rumination, really.  

Sometimes in the end the poster realizes they have a lot of work to do about their unresolved issues and they have been playing detective about the wrong person.  I've encountered that, for sure. It's not an uncommon dynamic, actually.