Signs to look for

It can be a strained relationship with either parent / main adult attachment figures, not just the opposite gender. One of the most insecure avoidants I dated had a really difficult relationship with his father and much better one with his mother (though his parents also had a strained relationship and that was the model he had to go on).

To add to the list, biggest red flag is always actions / words / feelings don't align.

Multiple long-distance relationships may also be a sign.

Past history of them frequently being the dumpers because they tend to lose interest for some vague reason that basically amounts to nothing more than they weren't "the one." Can't actually go into detail or take responsibility, perhaps says they always date crazy partners. Probably combined with having a phantom ex.

Communication issues. Get defensive or go into flight mode around serious topics asking about their relationship goals, even just abstractly and not pertaining to your specific relationship (asking about if they're ready to settle down with someone, for example, and their ideal timeline for it if it's the right person may get you all sorts of non-committal vague answers if they're not actually ready and avoiding it).

But in general, your approach should be less about being hypervigilant for signs and more about focusing on your own security before going back to the dating scene. When you are more secure yourself, you'll naturally find dysfunctional treatment from insecure partners repellent. And since like attracts like, they'll likely be less interested in you as well if they're less emotionally stable than you are. That's the biggest "protection" from getting into another dance.

Bare in mind this was a few months on the relationship I'm talking about.

Oooh, can also be true. The guy who had the bad relationship with his father would rarely smile or relax, especially when we went out. His expression was always stiff and worried. The only time he would look relaxed was when we were physically intimate.

That’s not the way some people see it at all. Some people want the crazy enveloping school kid stuff and call it chemistry! They’re the people I’d be steering clear of!

Hormonal love. It’s incredible (for me).
Joined at the hip. Every waking moment. Sad when work calls. Texting constantly. That sort of thing.

I think you might have misunderstood. This isn’t an answer to your question, willow. If you haven’t already, I urge you to pick up Jeb’s “bad boyfriends” book and have a read.