Sex, lovemaking, your sexual blueprint, attatchmentstyles Aug 16, 2020 10:48:54 GMT
Post by lonewolf on Aug 16, 2020 10:48:54 GMT
They can often have exstreme sex:
being promisquious, bsdm, S/M, over/underdog dynamics, or they can be scared of sex. Some can be very sexual/sensual.
People often say, that it is the best sex they ever had, having sex with a person with some desorganised attatchmentstyle.
They can be promiscuous.
They can be scared of sex
You can use it as confirmation and be uncritical about who you are having sex with. You can have sex with many people
Through sex they can experience closeness.
Power / powerlessness. Bondage, s / m sex ect.
Pain can be a way to relive past traumas. One may have a tendency to maintain the high nervous system arousel when having extreme sex. If the tension goes down, they may believe, that they are dying on the instinctive level. Sex with a secure person can feel boring.
Shame vs. shamelessness
Sex can be grounded with shame. Some are ashamed of their body. Also if you had been sexually abused.
Or some may be shameless.
You are shameless to yourself if you are being promiscues.
Because of their unregulated nerveussystem, sex often has to be more exstreme before they can feel anything.
Sex can also be a way to discharge ans.
As an FA I can really relate to this, it's spot on for me. Specifically I have grown more interested in the prospect of exploring a BDSM relationship with my next sexual partner. I haven't met anyone yet (and there are obviously more important things I need to vet the guy for first, like that we will be good partners for each other through all areas of the relationship!) but I am really interested in this. I follow a couple on YouTube, "LovingBDSM" that have a lot of respect for each other and seem to embody the kind of relationship I would like to have.
In your opinion as a sexologist is this something that has the potential to be healthy for me or an area fraught with traps and danger? The thought of sharing my inner fantasies with a partner is exciting and instinctually feels healing, but many of these fantasies involve pain and extreme situations. In your opinion can this type of sex be explored in a healthy way or is it better left alone?