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Post by elizabeth on Sept 13, 2022 18:10:00 GMT
Thanks Lovely Folk. i`m at work and off to a dentist appointment now (party time!), but i shall peruse the information put forward in your replies and write again soon. Thank you for not making me feel like i am crazy and I cannot express how thankful I am to have found the support here. <3
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Post by anne12 on Sept 13, 2022 18:29:11 GMT
Yep, heres the thread jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1268/flirting-jealousy-lies-infidelityIt can be a trauma responce, which can be landed with a somatic experience attatcment therapist The problem is, if we are getting caught in the trauma whirlwind and we can’t stop it (often with SE tools and with the help of other people/our partner), we have to go all the way through the trauma whirlwind in order to get out on the other side Your “why don’t you marry her” comment made me smile - I smiled with you, not at you, because I have sometimes felt jealous myself If you have had something to drink, it can make it more difficult to control your instinctive reactions I know a woman, former desorganized, who is together with a secure guy - she dosent drink anymore, because then she’s at risk making drama with her instinctive reactions… You can also look at the inner child stages. E.g. Has something happend to you when you were around 5-7 years old where you felt that you were not being part of the group, were you bullied ect. ? I still like the couple bubble suggestion by Stan Tatkin Does it feel like he/they are forgetting that you are there ? How can you come out of a freeze do you think ? Can he help you ? - there are some techniques in the healing disorganized thread and in the regulating the nervous system thread Maybe your therapist have given you some techniques ? How can the two of you deal with this in the future ? Another thing a male therapist once told me was, that when men are bonding over something with a more masculine leaning woman, he sees her as being one of the guys, but he doesn’t want to date her, expecially if his partner is more feminine leaning If She is flirting with your boyfriend, Then I personally like Mathew Husseys suggestion youtu.be/yPZAxiupSboShe could also be an energy vampire, and that is draining You can also try to do some shadow work - why is she such a pain in the ass ? And maybe with your boyfriend - he is maybe not as introverted as you thought he was ? Maybe you dident see it in the crushing phase or maybe you saw it and thought it was cool, but now it’s becoming annoying? jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1247/shadow-work
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Post by introvert on Sept 13, 2022 19:44:17 GMT
Yep, heres the thread jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1268/flirting-jealousy-lies-infidelityIt can be a trauma responce, which can be landed with a somatic experience attatcment therapist The problem is, if we are getting caught in the trauma whirlwind and we can’t get out of it fast, we have to go all the way through the trauma whirlwind in order to get out on the other side Your “why don’t you marry her” comment made me smile - I smiled with you, not at you, because I have sometimes felt jealous myself If you have had something to drink, it can make it more difficult to control your instinctive reactions I know a woman, former desorganized, who is together with a secure guy - she dosent drink anymore, because then she’s at risk making drama with her instinctive reactions… I still like the couple bubble suggestion by Stan Tatkin How do we deal with this in the future ? Another thing a male therapist once told me was, that when men are bonding over something with a more masculine leaning woman, he sees her as being one of the guys, but he doesn’t want to date her [br I have been jealous too, and I chuckled at the way you two can joke about it now elizabethFWIW I can attest to the last paragraph here. I am feminine appearing but have tended to have a more masculine energy/take on things . I am deeply involved in a male dominated sport/hobby, and when I get with the guys we talk like guys and I know they see me as one of them, a serious student of the game. We have a rapport that is way more dude like and there's no hint of flirtation. Also, my boyfriend engages with the few other women in the room the same way. I only felt jealous once and that's when I had an unresolved ouchie in the relationship where I didn't feel heard, actually. I talked to him about that to resolve my little internal knot. Such a great topic. And no you aren't weird. You're a normal hot blooded woman lol
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Post by anne12 on Sept 13, 2022 20:17:10 GMT
Another thing is that a masculine leaning man wants to provide and give his gifts - also to other women, elderly people ect.
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Post by introvert on Sept 13, 2022 20:25:16 GMT
Another thing is that a masculine leaning man wants to provide and give his gifts - also to other women, elderly people ect. Such a beautiful point. I LOVE this about my very masculine partner. He's a provider and protector in many ways, he loves to instruct snd encourage people and look out for others that he's engaged with. He's got a measure of aloofness too and an edge for sure if he's not in that kind of role with someone...but a social event with peers and good times would bring out the giver in him. And doing so in front of me means he's trusting me to understand him, which almost all the time I do around this. Save for that one time when it triggered my own bit of abandonment.
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