Can a break up with an FA/DA leave a AP traumatized? Dec 2, 2022 0:00:56 GMT via mobile
Post by duklaprague on Dec 2, 2022 0:00:56 GMT
I know it does sadly come down to her not being able to offer more. It’s just really hard as this wasn’t just a few months on. It’s three years in and although she did find all the “lovey dovey” stuff a bit scary at first, we’ve been pretty loved up for well over two of those three years. I guess the geographic distance and us not living in each others pockets helped her keep her avoidant side in check.
And that does make sense with her ex, that it’s all connected. And now she seems to have had her fears well and truly validated, hence saying things like “if it didn’t work with him, it won’t work with anyone”, or asking me early on “why would you love me?”.
I can’t help but not want to walk away from her, because I care about her deeply. But I know it would be very difficult to bring this stuff up. At best she might find it painful, or patronising of me to ‘diagnose’ her in sone way… at worst it could just push her away more.
I do wonder if she had any awareness of what might be going on though, or any insight from any counselling she has had.
I messaged her last night after five weeks of no contact. She hasn’t replied, so all of the may be moot if I don’t ever speak to her again.
But it’s all just heartbreaking to think she may have all this going on, and may never be truly happy if she cannot heal. And that’s what makes me just want to give her a big hug, even though I know I can’t, and that it wouldn’t fix anything anyway.