Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 2:56:42 GMT
Well, i am 6 weeks out from my breakup with my DA ex.
I find that this breakup, initiated by me, was painful but the next step for me in my growth from DA toward secure.
I feel that the grief is over for me, and while i do have lingering feelings of disappointment I have accepted the breakup and remain on friendly but clearly separated terms with my ex. In the interest of forthrightness as we continue our friendship, i have let him know that i have accepted an invitation to meet someone and am ready to begin dating.
I am sure this causes him sadness but he is understanding and supportive, as he is not ready for the kind of relationship i would like to cultivate.
So anyway! I am looking forward to beginning to date again, typically i would avoid it a (long) while or avoid my feelings by quickly engaging in something casual.
This time around, I am looking forward to the process of meeting potential partners and taking my time to get to know them with greater awareness than i have possessed in the past.
It so happens that i had to address the dilemma i recently posted about in the “I had a funny thought” thread. My life has been turned a little upside down by the birth of my baby granddaughter. So i took some advice privately rendered by one of my friends here on the board, and just let him know that i am a little under the gun, but would like to talk with him soon when things aren’t quite as hectic. Old me would just let it go and turn him away even though he is quite handsome and seems nice with shared interests. New me is trying to be open to new people and being more flexible to let them in. You never know!
He seems to be patient and understanding, and even quite laid back. BONUS. his approach is that life gets in the way of plans often enough that we can just roll with it and i can let him know when it’s good for me. He is clearly very interested but not pressuring me.
as an avoidant, i am terrible at planning much in advance so this is music to my ears haha! Yes, i am a chronic last minute planner and i prefer good communication and flexibility over plans made well in advance. Maybe i can improve on that, maybe i can’t. we shall see. maybe with a guy like this i don’t need to haha.
So. it’s a lot of nothing right now, but i want to post about this process for me, i still feel new at all this and am trying to go through it really honestly and with clarity.
I’m looking forward to it.
Here i go!
I find that this breakup, initiated by me, was painful but the next step for me in my growth from DA toward secure.
I feel that the grief is over for me, and while i do have lingering feelings of disappointment I have accepted the breakup and remain on friendly but clearly separated terms with my ex. In the interest of forthrightness as we continue our friendship, i have let him know that i have accepted an invitation to meet someone and am ready to begin dating.
I am sure this causes him sadness but he is understanding and supportive, as he is not ready for the kind of relationship i would like to cultivate.
So anyway! I am looking forward to beginning to date again, typically i would avoid it a (long) while or avoid my feelings by quickly engaging in something casual.
This time around, I am looking forward to the process of meeting potential partners and taking my time to get to know them with greater awareness than i have possessed in the past.
It so happens that i had to address the dilemma i recently posted about in the “I had a funny thought” thread. My life has been turned a little upside down by the birth of my baby granddaughter. So i took some advice privately rendered by one of my friends here on the board, and just let him know that i am a little under the gun, but would like to talk with him soon when things aren’t quite as hectic. Old me would just let it go and turn him away even though he is quite handsome and seems nice with shared interests. New me is trying to be open to new people and being more flexible to let them in. You never know!
He seems to be patient and understanding, and even quite laid back. BONUS. his approach is that life gets in the way of plans often enough that we can just roll with it and i can let him know when it’s good for me. He is clearly very interested but not pressuring me.
as an avoidant, i am terrible at planning much in advance so this is music to my ears haha! Yes, i am a chronic last minute planner and i prefer good communication and flexibility over plans made well in advance. Maybe i can improve on that, maybe i can’t. we shall see. maybe with a guy like this i don’t need to haha.
So. it’s a lot of nothing right now, but i want to post about this process for me, i still feel new at all this and am trying to go through it really honestly and with clarity.
I’m looking forward to it.
Here i go!
