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Post by jeffrey on Aug 29, 2020 23:00:47 GMT
jeffrey , I think so. I've heard the first few months of therapy are very hard / people want to quit, because you're starting to dig into all the trauma all these defense mechanisms developed in order to shield you from. Plus, for people with insecure attachment issues, it starts to feel painful to be developing a consistent and vulnerable relationship with your therapist (but pushing through this with professional guidance in a safe space helps you learn to model secure relating and soothe your nervous system). Let your therapist know you're feeling depressed, since if they're any good they should understand where you are in the process and have a toolbox for proceeding accordingly. Healing is painful, but if you continue to avoid the pain and not heal then in the long-run you just repeat your painful "self-defense" patterns infinitely and end up worse off. Thanks Alexandra. We're gonna be starting emdr therapy. And she also suggested a few others. Cbt, Act, etc.. But I'm also getting an emotional support animal in the next few weeks so I'm also looking forward to that |
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Post by serenity on Sept 3, 2020 8:37:33 GMT
jeffrey , I think so. I've heard the first few months of therapy are very hard / people want to quit, because you're starting to dig into all the trauma all these defense mechanisms developed in order to shield you from. Plus, for people with insecure attachment issues, it starts to feel painful to be developing a consistent and vulnerable relationship with your therapist (but pushing through this with professional guidance in a safe space helps you learn to model secure relating and soothe your nervous system). Let your therapist know you're feeling depressed, since if they're any good they should understand where you are in the process and have a toolbox for proceeding accordingly. Healing is painful, but if you continue to avoid the pain and not heal then in the long-run you just repeat your painful "self-defense" patterns infinitely and end up worse off. Thanks Alexandra. We're gonna be starting emdr therapy. And she also suggested a few others. Cbt, Act, etc.. But I'm also getting an emotional support animal in the next few weeks so I'm also looking forward to that The emotional support animal sounds real nice Jeffrey...what kind are you getting? Depression is a normal part of getting over a relationship based on intermittent reinforcement and trauma bonding. Its always a good move to do some therapy, but when you give the relationship you were in enough distance, you might find yourself feeling a ton better anyway just for being out of that dynamic. It can take a year or so to come back to normal physiologically speaking...try not to pathologicise yourself too much. Toxic relationships do this to people. |
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Post by jeffrey on Sept 7, 2020 15:41:59 GMT
Thanks Alexandra. We're gonna be starting emdr therapy. And she also suggested a few others. Cbt, Act, etc.. But I'm also getting an emotional support animal in the next few weeks so I'm also looking forward to that The emotional support animal sounds real nice Jeffrey...what kind are you getting? Depression is a normal part of getting over a relationship based on intermittent reinforcement and trauma bonding. Its always a good move to do some therapy, but when you give the relationship you were in enough distance, you might find yourself feeling a ton better anyway just for being out of that dynamic. It can take a year or so to come back to normal physiologically speaking...try not to pathologicise yourself too much. Toxic relationships do this to people. I'm getting a rescue cat. Picking him up in a few days. Ive always had cats growing up. Had a couple live to be 20 years old. So there's no shortage of love here. Anyway I'm feeling pretty hateful lately. And thats not me. I dont wanna carry it around. My therapist is helping me come to terms with my own childhood trauma. But I'm really feeling the abandonment right now |
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