Post by tnr9 on Jul 1, 2020 8:56:42 GMT
I am sorry you feel picked on....I see the responses as more of individuals on the board sharing their own experiences versus “picking on you”. Personally, I am curious about the word “caught” you use. It may mean something different to you which is why I ask...but to me, it implies having to win someone over....which has been a warning sign for me that the guy is insecure. Obviously I have only known men I needed to pursue and win over because that is pattern for me. The secure friends that I have don’t feel like they need to be caught....if anything, I do appreciate the wide width of acceptance, care, understanding they display. I can be fully me and they can be fully them and it is more like a deep sigh of relief for me then anything else.
To be honest I feel a little bit picked on by some of these responses. First of all I obviously have an insecure attachment or I wouldn't be posting here. Second I am also aware of it. Why is visualizing a healthier relationship considered idealizing?
I think everyone has some level of attachment injury. Maybe there are a few completely secure people but we aren't among them! Therefore we will always struggle somewhat with the relationship dynamic we are in. I would like to find one that is both healthy and attractive.
Interesting that since I started dating again I am doing exactly what annieb said and keeping a journal. Seems like we have adopted a similar technique to move forward. My dating has been much more mindful.
I think it is great you are keeping a journal while you are dating. 🙂