Confused after being ghosted by fearful avoidant.

Yes exactly, why am I bothering. After avoidanting me for weeks, he returns talking a good talk about how much he vaules the relationship and makes all these future plans. I gave him one need which is to spend regular time together and he can't even manage to see me two consecutive weeks!

I am proud of you and I hope you are proud of yourself. I think it is only when we stand in our adult space that we can truly know if someone else can show up for us.  You didn't hint, you didn't protest you just said as one adult to another here is what I would like and he showed you who he is. Which is a gift.  Now you can do what you want with that information, but when you communicate to someone on that level, it becomes very clear very quickly their capacity for an equal relationship. 

I think there's a difference between honesty and vulnerability. He is being honest here to the best of his ability. Vulnerability requires self-awareness and discernment about the emotional safety of the situation. The fact that he is unable or unwilling to be vulnerable with you gives you more information about the the dynamic. Even if he is self-aware, nobody owes us their vulnerability. It's important to respect his limitations and believe that he's being honest. 

FWIW, the concept of deactivation should be ignored completely except by the person who experiences this nervous system phenomenon. It is a concept that can only help a person who is actively trying to recognize and recover from it, IN THEMSELVES .

For the dating partner, the term is unnecessary and useless.

Ghosting is ghosting.
Disappearing is disappearing.
Ignoring is ignoring.

The term "deactivation" provides a label to anxious partners that some think they can use to "understand, help, support" the person displaying malignant relationship behaviors that result from nervous system deactivation.

And, the term can be applied inaccurately... not all who ghost are "deactivated".. some are just playing a very, very, very selfish game of "I do what I want while you wait, sucker!"

Referencing withdrawal as "deactivation" only creates the illusion that if you "understand" it, you can work with it. Tolerate it. Maybe even change it.

No. Ghosting is goodbye... coming back is a lie, Ghosting is goodbye.

Disappearing is goodbye. Reappearing is a lie.

Ignoring is the truth... attention is the lie.

It does no harm to view this in black and white terms, because you absolutely MUST have a red line boundary around being ignored, stonewalled, etc. If you excuse it with some psychobabble YOU WILL GET BURNED.

I say this because the good stuff in this push pull game is the dangerous stuff. It's not real. It keeps you hooked.
The bad stuff is GOOD for you because if you pay attention and accept it, you will be set free from the vicious cycle of insecure shenanigans.

The bad will ALWAYS be the end game. The bad will damage and exhaust you, and become the only thing that really matters.

Really good doesn't come with really bad. The two don't coexist.

I think you make a good point Introvert, I do use the "deactivating" as an excuse for his behaviours and actions. I tell myself he's not not a nasty person he just has "issues" because of his attachment style. He is letting me down again because of his "anxiety". He is ignoring me now because he is "deactivating". Again and again I tolerate it. And I also use it as a way to "understand" him.

As you rightly pointed out, it does consume me. I spend hours reading and watching stuff to better understand him. I waste time debriefing with friends. I spend time listening to him to try and understand. And what am I left with, I've lost interest in all the things I enjoy. I've had all my relationship needs neglected to accommodate for his. Currently I'm feeling guilty as he is ignoring my message I sent days ago, making me feel like it's my fault, as though I'm the cause for his stonewalling.