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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2018 21:29:44 GMT
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Post by alpenglow on Feb 20, 2018 21:43:36 GMT
Thanks for the hugs  Hugs back to you! |
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Post by Jaeger on Feb 20, 2018 21:54:17 GMT
Thanks for the hugs Hugs back to you! Oh, get a room, you two. As an added bonus, you can slap him all you want @tgat š |
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Post by alpenglow on Feb 20, 2018 21:56:59 GMT
Hahaha!! Tough love, right! APs were right all along about those DA monsters  |
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Post by Bluegrrl on Oct 22, 2018 2:02:45 GMT
I feel the same way. I have been in therapy and read almost every self help book out there but I feel so hopeless sometimes. I try so hard to be careful and watch out for the signs but I always end up getting involved with an avoidant who ends up distancing and cutting things off when things were going so well and I was really falling for them. Sometimes I feel like whatās the point in trying, it all ends up in heartache. I keep hearing about secure people but Iām starting to doubt they exist. Iām starting to feel itās better to be alone and now open up or trust anyone. People always let you down and hurt you in the end.
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Post by tnr9 on Oct 22, 2018 2:28:04 GMT
I feel the same way. I have been in therapy and read almost every self help book out there but I feel so hopeless sometimes. I try so hard to be careful and watch out for the signs but I always end up getting involved with an avoidant who ends up distancing and cutting things off when things were going so well and I was really falling for them. Sometimes I feel like whatās the point in trying, it all ends up in heartache. I keep hearing about secure people but Iām starting to doubt they exist. Iām starting to feel itās better to be alone and now open up or trust anyone. People always let you down and hurt you in the end. HI there and welcome...it sounds like you are in a low place...and I am sorry about that....can you tell us a bit more about yourself. There are a bunch of very trustworthy individuals from all types on this board. |
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Post by epicgum on Oct 22, 2018 3:49:56 GMT
I feel the same way. I have been in therapy and read almost every self help book out there but I feel so hopeless sometimes. I try so hard to be careful and watch out for the signs but I always end up getting involved with an avoidant who ends up distancing and cutting things off when things were going so well and I was really falling for them. Sometimes I feel like whatās the point in trying, it all ends up in heartache. I keep hearing about secure people but Iām starting to doubt they exist. Iām starting to feel itās better to be alone and now open up or trust anyone. People always let you down and hurt you in the end. HI there and welcome...it sounds like you are in a low place...and I am sorry about that....can you tell us a bit more about yourself. Ā There are a bunch of very trustworthy individuals from all types on this board. I second that...hang in there pal! And even if you are dating some kind of avoidant, with greater knowledge you can hopefully be aware of the dynamic and be better able to foster a situation where you can both heal these wounds. It's not all about finding the right magical person, that can be a bit of a red herring, some of it is doing better with the people we already have. |
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Post by faithopelove on Oct 23, 2018 23:12:55 GMT
HI there and welcome...it sounds like you are in a low place...and I am sorry about that....can you tell us a bit more about yourself. Ā There are a bunch of very trustworthy individuals from all types on this board. I second that...hang in there pal! And even if you are dating some kind of avoidant, with greater knowledge you can hopefully be aware of the dynamic and be better able to foster a situation where you can both heal these wounds. It's not all about finding the right magical person, that can be a bit of a red herring, some of it is doing better with the people we already have. Beautifully said!! I love that, Epic!š Now I would be willing to work on things, if only my ex would be open to trusting again. Asking a lot for him. Hope youāre well, Epic!! |
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Post by faithopelove on Oct 23, 2018 23:32:23 GMT
Does anyone else ever feel like that? I've had 4 significant relationships and they've all ended in heart break for me. At my age I just feel like it's a little too late. I've been going to counseling and reading self help books for years. I've gotten to places that have made me really happy and yet I always attract the same type of relationship. I'm scared to move on now, for What? I'll just attract another person who doesn't care as much as I do. I'm very sick right now in bed and all these thoughts are ruminating in my head. Thanks for listening to me ven't. I TOTALLY know how you feel. I spent the first half of my life in unhealthy relationships- I donāt want to spend the second half of my life the same. Iām working hard to address and improve my AP ways; however, the dating pool is bleak in my mid-40ās. Online dating is just depressing and I rarely meet any single men over 40 in āreal life.ā Iāve accepted my role is to heal my attachment trauma and raise my kids. A man would be a great distraction;however, I donāt want to give up on love completely bc when my kids arenāt here every other weekend the house is too darn quiet. I feel like I need to stand secure on my own for the first time so I can someday stand with someone in a healthy relationship. And...I still love my ex. I would still like another chance for us in the future. It may be foolish or plain old blind faith, but heās still the one Iād like to be in that healthy relationship with...I know itās hard- youāre not alone š |
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Post by faithopelove on Oct 23, 2018 23:38:06 GMT
also, for me, part of my optimism about eventually finding a good partner is i am learning, over time and painful experience, how to identify a toxic Ā partner Ā for me. i am learning not to try to drive a square peg into a round hole. i am learning what feels good inside and what doesn't, i am learning to accept people as they are and love myself enough to walk away if they can't love me, i am learning not to keep trying to make the wrong partner fit me and my expectations. i am learning to listen to myself, and be a really good friend to myself. it feels great even tho i haven't found the right man for me  YET. Thats a huge step in finding the Right fit! Ā Love this!! Goals ššš» |
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