Post by dexter on Jan 14, 2022 12:50:42 GMT
Jan 7, 2022 17:45:11 GMT @introvert said:You know what dexter ? You used the convo about a visit with the boy to mention that you feel pressured and manipulated, and you need to stop that crap. Seriously, you are now acting like a victim and throwing him into the middle of it, he's the only and I mean the ONLY victim here. I can have some sympathy up until the point you do stuff like that and make excuses on here.
It's atrocious the way you two behave concerning this child and I don't condone your tantrums with her. I agree you need to get out of the picture. It's absurd, and tragic.
I am sorry I've triggered so much negative emotions in you.
I didn't used convo for mentioning that I felt pressure. I was in fact pressured in a not nice way. She made me feel guilty, ashamed of leaving the kid, put a blame on me, and even told me how she felt when she was 8 and her stepdad left her for good. She didn't put an effort into relationship, run away from therapy, deactivated, then was trying to manipulate me into "situationship" in December. It was her decision to leave relationship and to deny any knowledge we've gained and a need to growth and understand each other. And now she claims that is my responsibility to stay forever in kid's life. What I've said was me putting a boundary - I don't want to feel manipulated, I don't want power struggle, I want a teamwork in coping things with kid. I didn't want to drag her again into therapy, It is not my agenda. My agenda is only related to ME. As I've said before, and alexandra wonderfully pointed it out, she clearly have problems with regulating kid's emotions and helping him process the separation. I offered my help, but eventually she rejected it almost week ago, claiming that if I can't guarantee that I will be always and forever available in kid's life, we should cut it off right now. Fine by me. Still, her kid is calling me almost every day, saying how much he loves me and want me to be with him. It is emotionally tough for me and I suppose she just isn't able to communicate him properly and firmly that me and his mum split forever.