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Post by goldilocks on Apr 11, 2018 20:22:37 GMT
Good for you!
How about doing something nice for yourself? Take a hot bath, a bit of chocolate with tea and enjoy!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2018 20:44:30 GMT
Little update.... So, I've spent some time now really looking at Mr. Man in a different light. I'm being compassionate about where he may be. Thinking of why he does things as far as his own insecurities and not through my own lens. I'm thinking of him and how I can best support him emotionally and not just what I want/need. The more I do this, the more I feel for him, the more I understand him, the more I love him and the closer he is getting back to me. So, basically, I'm getting what I want and need as well now. He has been super stressed and working crazy hours with some work issues and I've been completely understanding, no whining and complaining. I'm giving him the space and support to do what he needs to do. I asked if we could spend tomorrow night together and he said yes, he definitely needed a relaxing evening with me. So, he is again looking to me for comfort and peace. So amazing you guys! All this has REALLY decreased my anxiety. I no longer react right away. If I stop and think about something and how he really means it, 99.9% of the time, I realize I'm being rediculous and I'm happy I kept my big mouth shut. I no longer worry how he feels about me. I'm learning his love language, so I know how he feels and I trust it. Giving him what he needs seems to be enabling him to trust me so that he can give me what I need. Win-win. Taking things one day at a time 😊 i love this!!! i could tell by your initial posts, all the signs were there, that he sincerely cares and wants to be with you. i mean, from an internet perspective lol. i understand the limitations. he really sounds so much like the man i love. i am happy for you. and him! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2018 20:57:29 GMT
@future, trusting does build intimacy and a deeper, more comfortable bond.
the more relaxed my partner and i have become, the sweeter it gets.
remember, it's a friendship. a beautiful, mutual friendship.
i surprised my guy with some lasagna and some lovin' in the middle of the day yesterday, as he is under a lot of stress and pressure also.
He reciprocates and makes the time to call and spend some time on me, oh how i cherish him! it's scary! literally! lol
we have relaxed into knowing we are there for each other.
my issues are avoidant ones, but i read and post here and it keeps me grounded.
it's so weird to struggle the opposite way! stupid attachment injuries lol.
i am glad you didn't give up.
and i know for sure your man is too.
i'm really happy about this for you!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2018 21:08:48 GMT
@future, as a public service to all the attachment injured, let's start a show called The AP Whisperer.... we have to whisper the AP's because the DA's aren't paying attention
😂😂😂
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2018 21:35:47 GMT
juniper. Yes, I am learning to trust him, so difficult for me but he's really given me no reason not to. My mind always looks for the "real reason" behind stuff. Mostly because, before I knew any of this, he made no freaking sense! Now, I look back and realize that he has told me all of this but I just didn't get it because I didn't have the knowledge. And, he doesn't get it either. I'm sure that he's never heard of attachment theory. Now, I remember things he has said, in the past, and I'm like, "oh yeahhhh", LOL It is funny and ironic that we both are afraid of losing the other so we almost chased eachother away. We actually want the same thing just are able to handle differing degrees of it, if that makes sense. AP whisperer, bahahaha! That's actually a good idea.....
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